


Practice Resurrection

by LoudVoice



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoudVoice/pseuds/LoudVoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the heroine is a Canary, what can a simple IT duckling do in order the get the guy...?</p>
<p>Unless Felicity Smoak learns to fly. </p>
<p>- - An attempt to resolve things to Olicity's -and maybe to the DC universe's- satisfaction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Arrow FF, and though I've written many stories for other fandoms, for this one I wanted a clean slate. My idea for this story came like a lightning bolt from above, because I hated all the possible scenarios in my head for our favorite couple. So now I'm trying to bend the spoilers we've got so far to Olicity's favor. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Arrow, or Green Arrow. only any mistakes or typos (since I don't have a Beta either).

Felicity Smoak despite her quirkiness was a pragmatist.

She knew that the object of her crush, the larger than life man that was Oliver Queen wouldn't notice anything about her other than her mad computer skills. And she did have those.

Sometimes -though how often she didn't admit even to herself – she wished he would notice. But he wouldn't, she knew that. And that wasn't because she wasn't pretty. It was because of Laurel.

"Felicity?" His voice interrupted her inner monologue, but her fingers never stopped flying on the keyboard. The sun was setting when she came in today to discover Oliver had chosen a target from his list. A man who in the wake of the Undertaking had taken advantage of the confusion and after murdering most of the "clients" he sold protection to, was now trying to flee the country his slate wiped clean.

"Yeah. Got it. Marcus Flynn's pilot filed a flight plan five minutes ago. The private jet is leaving from an FBO in Starling City airport. You can get him but only if you leave like, right now."

"I'll get him," he assured, or she corrected herself  _vowed_ , before grabbing his bow and quiver and leaving the foundry.

Now all Felicity had to do was wait here in case he called for assistance of some sort, and while she prayed that would not be the case, she did not look forward into spending the next couple of hours alone in the basement. Since the Undertaking the place caused her a sense of anxiety, and while she was emotionally stable enough by now a couple of months later, the fact that above her loomed tons of concrete was a thought ever present in her mind. In short, she could not relax and work her magic.

Making sure that she had synced her tablet to all the necessary apps on her desktop, she picked it up, hooked an earpiece in place and started her ascent to the club above. Most of it was under repair, sheets of plastic hanging where walls once stood, and dust covering most of the bar, but it was better than having to constantly chase away her claustrophobic thoughts. Dig would be here soon she knew, and that was great. The basement was only bearable when she was with either Digg or Oliver. Until then she'd stay up here, and despite Oliver's advice that she shouldn't spend time here since the place wasn't secure, she felt much better.

She took a rag from behind the bar, dusted a stool, the area of the bar in from of it and settled in, all her attention turning to the screen and any sounds that would come out of her unmuted earpiece. She hadn't wanted Oliver to hear that she had moved and if she knew the man, which she was proud to say that yeah she somehow did know a bit of him, he would have noticed the sounds.

Felicity waited for the sound of his earpiece being unmuted, a sign that he'd have arrived at the airport and at the same time criticized her own thoughts. She was proud to say she  _somehow_  knew  _a bit_  of Oliver? Nice! She really needed to stop thinking in those terms. A crush was okay at first and it didn't bother anyone except for the times when her brain-to-mouth filter stalled and she blurted out things, but even then Oliver just ignored it as he should. But recently her inner filter wasn't just stalling, it was disappearing. A filter could only block only so much right? It could stall a crushy thoughts but not really sexy ones or lovey ones. Bad thoughts, all of them. It was the only small thing that had improved since the undertaking. She had learned to compartmentalize. Now she kept a little box with those thoughts and fantasies, that she opened only late at night at home. At work in QC and with Digg and Oliver she was the IT girl on one hand, and part of the Hood's team on the other. It was much better this way, less embarrassing and less chance that Oliver would figure out that her crush had been blown out of proportion. That would have been awkward.

Because there was Laurel, beautiful, woman-of-men's fantasies Laurel. This comparing and coming up short thing really sucked.

"I'm here." Oliver's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she forced her head back in the game. Okay, not game since it was really dangerous- "The jet is getting ready but I haven't seen Flynn."

"The flight plan that was filed lists the takeoff time ten minutes from now, he should be there by now if he wants to be on time," Felicity replied after double-checking her screen. What if this was a trap though? She had just opened her mouth to say so, when Oliver's quiet voice cut her off again.

"Okay, got him," was all he said, before his mic was muted again. These moments were hell; Moments when the silence was only an illusion, a veil of quiet behind which a battle was raging while she stood on the other side not knowing whether this would be the time when the click followed by the sweet relief of Oliver's voice would not be heard.

This time, thank God, the click was heard after a few minutes. "It's done." He was panting, his voice quiet. "Heading back now."

"Copy that," she heard her own subdued voice. She knew what they did was right, but it still took a moment for this type of justice to sit well with her.

"Is Digg back in?"

"He should be here in a few, he called me from the car."

"Good. Start some grappling with him, and we'll go through target practice later."

She half-smiled at the prospect. Not about spending time practicing with Oliver, well that too, but also about them helping her learn some of the stuff they did. Yeah, she wasn't going to be like a ninja sidekick or something, but she felt better about protecting herself. The city wasn't what it used to be, and even though some areas hadn't been damaged from the earthquake the devastation in the Glades had leaked out to encompass everything and everyone. No street was safe now after dark.

She looked at the plastic sheets swaying in the breeze and realized it was really dark out. She definitely needed to go back to the basement, claustrophobic thoughts or not. She picked up the tablet and jumped off the stool. A sense of unease was taking over, nothing to do with the basement. Everything was quite, too quiet. Why wasn't Digg here yet? The club was looking a lot creepier now. All this empty space and the silence was getting to her. Walking faster she made her way to the door leading down, looking around her anxiously. Okay, this wasn't good. She could hear the whisper of footsteps now. Why hadn't she liked the silence before? Silence was good. And now that crinkling sound, as if the plastic sheets were moved aside.

Her heart was beating a rapid tattoo in her chest, and she rushed to the door punching the code to get in, at the same time touching her earpiece. "Oliver, someone's in the club," she whispered as quietly as she could while the door to the basement buzzed open.

There was a pause and then the muted noise of a bike engine speeding up. "Don't go up Felicity. Stay down, no one can get in. I'm on my way."

She winced, realizing he must have heard the door buzzing and assumed she was in the basement looking out and not trying to get in. "Uhm…I'm going downstairs now," she whispered, trying to quietly close the door. It wasn't a lie exactly-

Her thoughts stopped, her heart stopped and then everything fast forwarded.

Someone stopped the door from closing with a bang, and then she was shoved away from it, falling on her butt, her spine tensing in pain. Felicity's head had barely –but solidly- hit the rail when her elbow was take in a harsh hold. Someone pulled her roughly to her feet and she swayed. Oliver's voice sounded like a buzz in her ear, her fear not letting her concentrate enough to listen. She blinked and tried to focus on the man's face, but then he jerked around and she turned the walls a blur that dizzied her. The pause before she started struggling was enough for him to immobilize her against his chest and press a rag to her mouth.

Some kind of tranquilizer, her brain reasoned as she feeble struggled not to breathe in. She was really screwed…

"Felicity?" Oliver's voice was coming from far away now, but another was closer and the last thing she heard.

"That's her."


	2. Bullets and Lies

The silence was deafening. Despite the fact that Oliver Queen was weaving his bike between rushing vehicles, he ignored all the blaring horns from angry drivers around him and thought of the silence.

He had been on his way back to the foundry when Felicity told him that someone was in the club above and then silence. Nothing. No embarrassed explanation telling him it was just Dig and a false alarm, or that it was some worker who had forgotten something. But then since he was the Hood what were the odds? That’s what had him rushing, pushing the bike to the limit and all the time he never stopped talking. There was a chance that Felicity could still hear him, and if she did and someone had in fact broken into their lair he wanted her to know that he was close.

“Hold on Felicity, I’m on my way okay? Dig’s on his way too. Just keep your head down, stay hidden and I’ll be right there in five minutes.”

He kept reassuring her all the while refusing to think of any possibility other than that she was safe but keeping radio silence. He turned off the engine and let the bike glide half a block away from the foundry, tipped it to the side and then started running. Gunshots echoed in the streets. _Now_ he allowed himself to think of all the things that might have gone wrong in the foundry, letting the anger he kept at bay come to the surface.

He didn’t slow down until he reached the building and then used the knowledge of the layout to find the best place to take in the situation without getting shot. He could see Dig firing rounds using his car for cover. A dark SUV with its back doors opened was parked next to one of the collapsed walls and a man lay prone next to it.

Oliver hadn’t even realized when he had taking his bow and quiver out of his backpack, but they were in his hands, and he was firing off arrow after arrow at the remaining men taking cover behind debris and the van itself. After each shot he sped to change his position and one by one the noise of rapid gunfire died down.

“Stop! Stop or I’m shooting her!” The voice was coming from inside the club, and in the dark Oliver could just make out a shadow moving behind the plastic sheets covering a hole in the wall.

Quickly he ran to where Dig was taking cover. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I just got here in time. They were dragging Felicity out and I forced the guy holding her back in,” Dig replied, checking the guns magazine quickly.

“Is she hurt?” Oliver asked tightly.

“She was unconscious.” There was nothing to say to that. In the dark they had no idea whether they had hit her in the head or beat her until she passed out. Either way there wasn’t time for anything else.

“Let me go or I swear I’m shooting her,” the man called out once again and Oliver motioned to Digle to cover him.

“But stay out of sight,” he cautioned. The man knew the Hood was here, he couldn’t have missed the arrows taking down his friends.

 “Let me get out of here in one piece and you can have her.” Seconds passed in silence. Inside the man struggled to hold Felicity’s prone body in front of him as he faced the hole in the wall.

He jumped and turned as a dark voice echoed behind him. “Sorry. I can’t do that.” Oliver didn’t even finish the sentence before he let the arrow fly, nailing itself in the center of the man’s palm.

Even as the man let Felicity go in shock, Oliver was moving to incapacitate him with a few hard blows. He made sure to keep the man alive though. He had to get answers. Dig had ran in at the sound of Oliver’s voice and now both rushed to Felicity’s side.

“She has a pulse,” Dig said after checking her carotid. “Slow but strong, it’s there. “ He exhaled in relief but Oliver still moved his hands over her body to check for injuries.

“There’s a bump in the back of her head,” he said, and as he leaned in to get a better look, he smelt it. “Chloroform. Crude, but effective.” He ground his teeth against the ease with which they had overpowered her. The anger was still inside him, burning a hole in his chest. He had experienced loss several weeks ago and just the possibility of losing Felicity too had made him shut down so completely that anger was the only thing he allowed himself.

“We have to get her downstairs,” Dig said and moved to pick her up. Oliver didn’t stop him. He only trusted himself with someone he could hurt at the moment and the perfect candidate was just coming round a few feet away.

He watched Dig pick up Felicity and then moved to stand over the man. He was wearing a mask and was now moaning. His eyes were still closed. Oliver took his by his injured hand, and ignoring the cries of pain dragged him to a corner of the club where if the man opened his eyes he would only see debris.

“Don’t kill me, please.” The pathetic moan was so low that Oliver pretended not to hear. It was good to know the man was conscious now.

“Who sent you?” he asked roughly, letting the simmering anger show in his voice.

“Please…” the man begged again, his eyes bouncing around resting on anything other than Oliver.

“I said, who sent you?” Oliver shouted impatiently.

“We were paid to get the girl. Just the girl.”

“Why?” Oliver bunched the man’s shirt in his hand and got in the man’s face.

“They told us to follow her. To be careful and watch out for you and then take her. That’s all I know. Please don’t kill me. Please…”

“Who told you?” He shook the man again.

“Barry, the guy inside the van. He told me. I don’t know who gave the order,” the man whimpered.

“Where would you take her?” Oliver asked, hoping that whoever had given the order the Barry had given him a location that he had shared with the others. Since ‘Barry’ was dead inside this was his best chance.

When the man hesitated Oliver knew he wouldn’t like the answer but he pressed his hand on the man’s injured palm to get it. “Okay, just please…We’d take her just a couple of blocks away, and ask her about you. After she told us” the man paused and swallowed fearfully, “we’d leave her in the street for you to find her.” _Dead_ , the man didn’t say but Oliver heard it clearly.

The anger boiled over. In an instant Oliver’s hand had closed over an arrow and then punched it over the man’s heart.

He stood up, his thoughts racing. Someone knew Felicity’s connection to the Hood. These men had followed her here and planned to take her, interrogate and kill her all. How? How did they know? His mind raced. He heard sirens in the distance and wasn’t surprised at the delay. These days police had their hands full with all the criminal activity going on in the city.

Laurel’s father had been demoted after the undertaking otherwise he’d have been here at the first call made about something happening in Oliver’s club. Quentin Lance…Felicity. In an instant it clicked.

“Oliver?” Dig was standing in the basement’s entrance and took in the scene. Oliver jogged to him and they both made their way downstairs.

“How is she?

“I think it’s just the chloroform, so she’ll probably come around in a bit.”

 “Probably?”

“Yeah, probably. The bump on her head isn’t much, unless she has a concussion and we have to wait for the chloroform to fade so I can wake her.”

Oliver took the duffle he kept and swiftly started changing into street clothes. “I have to go up and speak to the police,” he said looking over at where felicity lay, regretfully.

“I know, man. I’ll stay here until she wakes up.”

I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With one last look at Felicity, Oliver went upstairs a hasty excuse  forming in his head about hiding out in the basement behind crates already.

A couple of hours and thousands of repeated questions later, Oliver’s mind was buzzing. The police was ready to leave him alone, but collecting evidence took hours and people were still going around the club. He waited impatiently until at least the detectives left the scene, and then pretending to be in shock and in need of a drink walked around the bar and edged towards the basement door. A few steps before he reached it, his phone went off. Laurel’s faced took over the small screen.

“Hey,” he replied, slightly impatient with her. They were together now and he was happy. He really was, but sometimes he got impatient with her. And sometimes she got impatient with him for which he couldn’t blame her. Spending most nights apart instead of together was a hindrance for two people in love. Sometimes he thought they were working too hard to _be_ in love.

“Ollie, where are you? The news say that there was a shootout at the club.” She sounded worried and Oliver’s impatience faded.

“Yeah, I know. I’m at the club now. I’m okay. Some creeps decided to have a shootout outside and apparently the Hood saved the day once more,” he said lightly trying to reassure her, but he felt the words hollow as they left his mouth.

He lived with secrets, that was a given. Somehow his love for Laurel had made him overlook the everyday repercussions the secrets would have in a relationship. Lately he felt the pretense was eating away at him. It was becoming uncomfortable to done a mask in front of the one person he wanted to show his true self to.

“Where were you earlier? Were you in the club when it happened?”

“Yeah, I was checking the basement for some cracks the constructor told me about,” he repeated what he had told the police. Another lie between them. “I heard the shots and hid down there. Don’t worry I’m fine.” He wasn’t.

“Okay. Will you come over tonight?” The question was hesitant, but while every time she had asked these past weeks he had taken the hesitation for shyness and smiled when he said yes. Tonight though he didn’t hear shyness in her voice. He heard reluctance. Oliver didn’t know if it was the night’s events and feelings that made him think that so he shook off the thought and after declining the invitation claiming to be tired he promised to see her the next day and hung up.

He made his way down to the basement slowly making sure no one was watching him. The lies were weighing heavily on him. Day by day they piled up. He wanted to tell Laurel that he was the Hood but in the weeks after the undertaking it proved impossible. The Hood was blamed for Malcolm Merlyn’s death and while Merlyn’s role in the undertaking had been revealed, Laurel somehow had not absolved the hood of the sin. Oliver knew that she was right to do so, since he blamed himself too, but he was still hurt when Laurel told him that she blamed the Hood for Tommy’s death too.

 _“I saw him, Oliver. I saw the Hood running out of the building. And Tommy’s body was on the ground with a huge hole in his chest. That screams guilty to me.”_  

Her words still echoed in his head. And she was right he was guilty. Still the words hurt. What hurt more each day though was the pretense. It was getting harder every day to lie, and even harder to pretend that it would all be okay. That they were meant to be together. 


	3. Of hugs and belonging

 The first thing Felicity heard was a groan. It was hers. She knew because it echoed around in her skulls for ages. Deciding that silence was the golden rule for now, she attempted to open her eyes. There was a light above her, damn it! She shut them tightly again. Oh, no. No, no, no. What had happened just before she lost consciousness came back to her and she scolded herself inwardly at opening her eyes when she knew she had been kidnapped. She decided on a different course.

Relaxing her eyelids she hoped she was successful in pretending to be unconscious and then started minutely flexing the muscle of her arms and legs to see if she was restrained.

“Felicity? Are you…awake?” At Oliver’s voice she jumped, raised her head and opened her eyes. Her peripheral vision instantly provided the information that she was safe and in the basement. Oliver was standing next to the gurney where she was laid with Dig beside him. Both of them had expressions of concern, but somehow she knew there was a hint of amusement there as well.

Before she could register anything else, dizziness overtook her, and everything that happened before rushed to the forefront of her mind once more. Belatedly, fear gripped her and in its wake a nervous energy which resulted to more dizziness and then relief. Relief that she was safe. But her body couldn’t catch up with her brain.

“Oh, God.” Tears flooded her eyes, and her head dropped back down. She winced and the pain she felt only caused the tears to flow faster.

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” Oliver’s amusement had disappeared now and he was leaning over her anxiously catching her hand in his.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. We got you,” Dig was saying, coming over to her other side.

“I know. Okay. Yeah, I’m okay,” she replied, but the tears refused to stop flowing. Yeah, delayed reaction to trauma anyone? She really should stop she knew, but she couldn’t help it. She tried to sit up and with both of their help she made it. “Are they…?”

“Yes,” was Oliver’s clipped reply and she knew the anger wasn’t directed at her. But it did make her cry more. “Calm down, it’s okay,” he added in that seriously irritating voice men used to subdue hysterical females. This seriously sucked. Then again she was at the moment a hysterical mess. She just needed to feel safe and for the fear to go away. A part of her brain told her not to ask because she was in shock and she’d regret it, but then she argued with herself that’s why she should ask. And she did.

She motioned to herself and when both stared at her blankly, she declared them complete idiots. “I need a hug,” she enunciated clearly. Both men froze for a second but then Diggle stepped forward and hugged her. A tiny part of her mind, one already recovering from the frozen state of terror she had been in, pointed out that Oliver hadn’t stepped up. Then again Diggle’s kind of hugs were just what she needed right then. A huge, warm safe male embrace. The man gave great bear hugs.

When Dig stepped away she was already feeling better enough to be surprised that Oliver came up to her in turn. His arms wrapped around her and this time the hug felt to her more than the means to feeling safe. At first his arms tightened and she pressed her ear to his heartbeat praying that she wasn’t too obvious. But then Oliver loosened his hold and moved to step back. Yeah…that’s all she got from him, she should have suspected as such. She scolded herself at having such thoughts at a time such as this, but on the up side that meant she was functional enough for now. Hysterics over.

“Better?” An amused Diggle asked.

She rolled her eyes at him, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Much.”

“Okay, let’s get you out of here. We can’t get back here until we know for sure if the place has been compromised and this wasn’t just a randomly selected place to attack you,” Oliver said, all business now.

“If we’re leaving for some time I have to put in effect the security protocols and…” she murmured, cataloguing everything she had to do. It felt comforting to have something to do and she went to her “toys” as she called them in her mind to review the most recent back ups and make sure that what she had saved was up to date so she could take it with her.

Felicity could hear Dig and Oliver murmuring in the background, but she didn’t pay attention. She knew they were discussing logistics, but dealing with the IT tasks at hand was enough for her mind to go through for now.

“Ready,” she announced after a couple of minutes and she knew the smile she gave them was wan.

“Okay, I’m taking you home. Diggle is staying to take care of things.”

“Okay,” she agreed with what little she had left. “I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.”

“I’m not taking you to your place.” Oliver’s commanding tone startled her.

“What? Why?”

“If they followed you here, they know where you live. It’s not safe.” His jaw closed tightly around each word.

“What? So I’m never going home again?” she asked sarcastically. While the sense of apprehension had not left her yet, she did feel safe now and she doubted that they needed to go into such extremes.

“For now, you’ll stay at my house until we can figure out how to handle this,” Oliver said with a finality she started resenting.

“Handle what? Me. Right. Because I’m compromised. Should I change my name, wear a wig and go off to live in the mountains so that no one will recognize me?” She couldn’t help the ironic tone. She was starting to get a vibe from them. They were looking at her like she was someone apart from them.

Oliver’s lips twitched and he assumed an expression she had seen many times before. Amused exasperation. “We’ll get you situated in a guest room in my house for now. I can get you computers and you can do everything from there. But it’s only temporary until I find out who’s behind this.”

“It took us a year to figure out the mastermind last time,” she murmured before she could stopped herself and then winced. She looked up in time to catch Oliver’s flinch, but before she could open her mouth to apologize he stopped her.

“We’ll work faster this time,” he snapped.

“We will,” Diggle interrupted. “Last time we weren’t working together from the start after all.”

She still felt bad about mentioning the Undertaking, but her nerves were shot so shee couldn’t liger on that. “Okay,” she conceded, and followed Oliver up the stairs to the club. “What about my stuff?”

“I’ll send someone to get them, and make sure they’re not followed. Until then we’ll settle with clothes from Thea.”

“Won’t she mind?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, ending all conversation for the rest of the ride to the Queen Manor. They took the car Diggle had ridden in, but she didn’t ask how he was supposed to get home, even though it popped up in her tired mind. She just kept staring out the window wondering what was going to happen to her next, but not having the strength to care.

 

* * *

 

 

When they arrived at his house, Oliver knew Felicity only had minutes before she fell on her face with how tired she was, he showed her to a guest room, and left her to sleep with reassurances that he’d be just down the hall if she needed anything.

He notified the staff that a woman would be staying in that room without providing her name, and for once thanked his past transgressions that provided him with some leeway concerning secrecy about strange women spending the night.

As soon as everything was settled he went to the living room and fell on the couch in exhaustion. He had no idea on what he should do about this whole thing. It was a mess. Someone obviously knew that Felicity was connected to the Hood and the only logical explanation he could find to that was that someone from the police station had known that Quentin Lance had called in Felicity for suspecting her to having dealings with the Hood. He knew it wasn’t Quentin, the Hood and he were on ‘good’ terms, if one could call it that. So someone else knew.

The upside was that from what that man in the club had said, whoever knew about Felicity didn’t know about Oliver being the Hood. The problem was that whoever was after Felicity would make a connection between Oliver and the Hood if it was discovered that she had taken refuge in his house. An employee from the IT department didn’t just camp at her boss’s house, unless they had a closer relationship. The thought of pretending something to that effect had merit in order to keep Felicity safe in the Manor, but then Oliver thought of Laurel. Yeah, she wouldn’t be happy with that, he thought in frustration. He was surprised to realize that the feeling stemmed not from what Laurel would think of him and how she’d react. He was frustrated because Laurel not knowing who he really was and what kind of life he lead was hindering him from protecting someone. Felicity.

The hug had stayed with him for some reason. At first when she requested it, he had paused like Dig had, and somehow there was some comfort in that. He wasn’t the only one taken by surprise by the female demand. But then Dig had stepped up, and he knew he wanted to offer her comfort next. So he had, wrapping his arms around her.

That’s where his memory became crystal clear. It wasn’t the hug; that was an innocent and comforting thing. It was how he remembered the goose bumps on her skin as it touched his. He remembered the warmth of her breath on his chest and how while she was tense even after Dig released her she had completely relaxed in his arms.

His brow furrowed at the memory. She had made him feel…possessive of her. Like she was his. He already was protective of her, from the moment she had assisted him even unknowing of who he was. The hug though…it brought him a sense of ownership and belonging.

It must have been a team thing. Diggle and Felicity were his friends and partners his team. He refused to think on it more and instead forced his mind to the matter at hand. Protecting his…friend.

He dropped his head to the back of the couch in defeat.

He had to find out who had figured out Felicity’s connection to the Hood, otherwise she had been right in what she had sarcastically suggested. They’d have to make her disappear.

And, he realized this wasn’t an option.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Living in Oliver’s house wasn’t anything like Felicity had been used to. Admittedly, some of her most secret fantasies involved cuddling in a huge bed in the luxurious home, but the fantasy had centered on cuddling…mostly. What her mind hadn’t included was the stately elegance of the home or the simplicity of all things around her that just screamed old money.

“Is there something you’d like, Miss Smoak?” She was startled by the woman in uniform in front of her. She was used to getting things herself, and had just found her way into the kitchen to find some kind of snack when the lady popped in front of her.

“No, I just- I wanted…a sandwich maybe? I can put it together, if you could point to where the bread and stuff are?” she asked, knowing she was fidgeting. But the kitchen looked like the bridge in Star Trek. Stainless steel appliances, gleaming surfaces, a large space where she had no idea where to begin looking for things.

“I can get it to you if you’d like. What would you like in it?” the woman asked, and Felicity just gave up and rattled on the fixings. She thanked the woman and left for the room she had been given when the latter shooed her out of the kitchen.

All this quiet efficiency from the staff, the really expensive furniture and things all around her, reminded her things she had forgotten in her silly infatuation. She saw now what she had forgotten, that Oliver Queen belonged in a whole different world, no matter what persona he changed into at night. When he had walked in her office she was flustered because she knew that his life was this. This manor, this lifestyle; things she couldn’t relate to. While she had forgotten that in all these months since then, the realization hit her now again. Another reason why Laurel was the one for him. Perfect Laurel who barely blinked at the things Felicity was now marveling at.

Once again she felt like she had to scold herself into agreement. Oliver Queen wasn’t for her, he was Laurel’s and there were clearly reasons that they were meant to be. Felicity Smoak didn’t fit in that equation, so there. She only wished him to be happy.

 

* * *

 

 

The days after the attack on Felicity passed in a rush. Oliver had explained Felicity’s presence to Thea and the staff as best he could. He also brought in equipment per Felicities instructions so that she could work the operations for the Hood from an empty study room off limits to everyone else. Security in this proved to be paramount. He explained away the presence of a biometric keypad to the room as best as he could mentioning business intelligence and fears for corporate espionage.

“We’re all set,” Felicity said finally three days after she had moved in the mansion. They were in the study cum operation center, both he and Diggle watching as she typed away commands into one of the keyboards.  “This won’t be permanent though, right? ‘Cause yeah, I really like the set up here and the mansion is really great, but I can’t stay here forever you know? I mean, how will you explain me spending the nights here to everyone, it will look a bit weird for your tech- Uhm, okay, shutting up now.” She blushed and looked back down to one of the screens.

“Don’t worry, Felicity. We’ll get them soon and everything will be back to normal,” Oliver promised, his amusement at her babbling fading, as she looked up at the reminder of why they were here.

“Yeah, I’m working on that. I hacked into the police system to see if they found out who those... men were.”

“What did you find?” Diggle asked, trying to get her mind off the memories.

She adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat. “Well, that’s just it. I didn’t find a lot. Most of them have records of assault, robberies, and thefts but there isn’t a connection between them. None of them has a connection to a gang, or a crime family or to each other for that matter. It looks like whoever hired them just selected random small time criminals.”

“That’s far from random, guys,” Oliver said, and started pacing all the while thinking. “Think! Even if someone just pulled guys from the streets for this job, chances are at least one of them would have connections to something or someone. These men weren’t randomly selected. They were carefully chosen. No connections, no way of tracing the order.”

“Tracing! Yeah, I did that too. I went through their bank records and tried following the money,” she air-quoted. “No suspicious transactions, no deposits of large sums to any of their bank accounts.”

“We could check out traffic, see where the van came from,” Diggle suggested, but Oliver knew they were grasping at straws now.

“Half the traffic cams in the city have been down since the quake,” Oliver replied tightly. He thought they would at least get somewhere when Felicity had access to the police records. Now he didn’t know where to begin.

“Who would bother to go to such lengths, be so careful to get to me?” Felicity murmured.

Oliver had only told Diggle of his suspicions that someone in the police, some dirty cop knew about Felicity’s connection to the Hood. He didn’t want to scare her any more than she already had been, but it was much worse to be kept in the dark.  

“Felicity,” he stopped his pacing and drew a chair next to hers. “Whoever hired these people clearly knows your connection to me,” Oliver said, covering her hand with his. At the touch she stilled and then goose bumps appeared all over her arm. He stilled, and glanced at her skin. That reaction… he stopped his thoughts there. Quickly but casually he pulled his hand away and let it rest on his lap, subtly flexing it to make the feeling fade. This was bad…

“I know that, Oliver,” she said, pursing her lips. Today they were painted a deep pink. He blinked in surprise at both the thought and as the meaning of her words sunk in. She continued speaking, and he thankfully realized that his actions and thoughts had gone unnoticed. “The thing is we don’t know who the key players are in this. Someone from the police obviously, gave whoever ordered my assault the information about your connection to me. But,” she emphasized, “we have no lead in either of them.”

“We could just ask,” Diggle said meaningfully. Oliver turned to see that he hadn’t moved from his position next to the door, but the big guy was now for some reason staring intently back at him.

“What do you mean?” Oliver asked.

“You could ask Det- sorry, Captain Lance. He worked together with Felicity that night, he’ll tell you who knew he brought her in if you explain that her cover’s been blown,” Diggle explained, but the intensity never left his eyes as he stared back at Oliver.

He ignored it for now. “Yeah, I can do that. I gotta go find him. You keep digging at those bastards’ lives. Maybe a connection exists and we haven’t found it,” he told Felicity, before he got up and left the room with Diggle following in tow. 

“I hope we won’t need to have a talk, Oliver,” Dig murmured.

“About what?”

“Let’s leave it at that,” Dig stated firmly as he opened the front door for Oliver to go through. “For now.”

Oliver and Diggle looked soberly at each other before the former turned to walk out.

“Hi?” Laurel was standing just outside the door, her hand raised about to ring the doorbell.

“Laurel,” Oliver said, rearranging his face to what he hoped was pleasant surprise. Dig’s looks pissed him off. He refused to think more of it. And now Laurel was here. He had only seen her for dinner the day before, which had felt like a mission in itself. Like she was the enemy and he was had to cause a diversion, so she couldn’t see what was going on in his life. That night he had avoided bringing her back home or going over to her. He also hadn’t slept a wink.   

Now he was leaning down to hug her. Another diversion.

“Are you heading out?” she asked, her brows furrowed.

“Yeah, I have to go downtown. Meeting.” He smiled regretfully. Liar, whispered through his mind.

“Oh, okay, I thought I’d surprise you…” she trailed off and the weight in Oliver’s chest intensified.

He could see she was disappointed and that she knew that something was wrong. In that moment the cloud of emotion that always blurred his thoughts when it came to Laurel lifted. He cared how Laurel felt, but appeasing her hurt or spending time with her wasn’t a priority. While he had taken off many times before, he always felt guilty afterwards. This time he did not. Figuring out the threat against Felicity was the priority.

“I’m sorry. I really have to go,” he smiled apologetically and then amended. “I’ll come over tonight, okay?”

“So we can talk,” she stated.

“So we can talk,” Oliver agreed and kissed Laurel’s cheek before he left. They had to talk things out, otherwise he knew this wasn’t going to work. He just had to think of what he’d tell her. His chest tightened again. He was sad when he realized it was guilt that weighed on him, and not the fear of losing Laurel.

After all he thought he had lost Laurel once and had survived. 

But could he _live_ with Laurel everyday with all these lies?

Was he already living a lie?


	5. Colors and debts

They were back in square one, Oliver thought speeding through the streets of Starling city heading home.

It had all been a dead end.

Quentin Lance had no answers for Oliver when the latter had contacted him as the Hood. Lance was in no position after being demoted to give Oliver any insight on who was the leak in SCPD.  Oliver had been given the names of the tech that had first informed Quentin about Felicity’s involvement with the Hood, but after extensive research the man appeared innocent.

It had been ten days since Felicity was attacked, and had moved to the mansion. It had also been ten days since Oliver had talked to Laurel.

Thinking on it now, he realized it had actually gone better than he had thought it would.

_“Hey,” Laurel’s voice was tentative, when she greeted him at the door. “How are you?”_

_“Good. It’s been busy,” he replied truthfully, walking inside her apartment._

_Oliver suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Were they reduced to that? Carefully talking around their issues? He remembered his advice to Laurel back then, he thought with a pang of guilt and pain. He had told her to talk to Tommy and save their relationship, but he doubted if he could do that himself. Talking it out would mean telling the truth._

_“Oliver…what’s going on?” she asked when they were finally seated next to each other._

_He dreaded that question. It was direct and impossible to lie to. Taking a deep breath he settled for the closest thing to the truth. “I don’t know. Things have been…”_

_“Awkward? Yeah, I’ve noticed, but why? I feel like you’re drifting away. Even when we’re together your mind is someplace else. Is there someone-“_

_“No,” interrupted Oliver, ignoring the guilty thought that flashed through his mind. “There’s no one else, Laurel.” There wasn’t, he told himself again. At least not someone. Someones. So many people in this city that had been wronged and the Hood had to make some of it right. Felicity was on the top of the list of those people right now, but that was irrelevant he had to remind himself again. What was relevant though was that he couldn’t put this off any longer. “Listen,” he told her and took a deep breath, raising his eyes to hers._

_“Oliver,” she sighed. “We haven’t been…us in so long.”_

_“I know,” he replied quietly. In fact, Oliver thought, they hadn’t been ‘them’ ever since they got back together._

_“Maybe…maybe we should focus on what’s on our plate now, and see what happens,” she suggested quietly, but Oliver wasn’t fooled. Laurel was giving him an out, so that he didn’t do it first himself. His chest was tight again, the small wave of relief coursing through him making him even sadder._

_“Laurel-“ he started, some small part of him still wanting to contradict her, but the rest of him knowing it was time to let go. He had loved her stubbornly for so long, but the last few months had proved that he couldn’t be happy with someone just because he willed it. “Laurel…I think we have to let go.” That small stubborn part of him hated himself for saying this. The rest of him knew it was time ._

_He closed his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah we do, don’t we?” came her defeated reply. She looked as sad as he felt but also resigned. “I don’t want to lose you, Ollie.”_

_“You won’t. I love you,” he told her, knowing that it didn’t mean the same as it once did._

_“I love you too, Ollie,” she said thickly._

_He leaned and hugged her. “We’ll be alright,” he told her, hoping it was true._

“We will,” he agreed.

He hadn’t spoken to her since that night after he had left her apartment. Now a few days later, this was the first time he thought of their break up. Oliver realized that despite the bittersweet feeling, he hadn’t missed her. The frustration and helplessness he _was_ feeling was all centered on his inability to get to whoever was threatening Felicity.

He slowed down when he reached the mansion’s driveway, and navigated towards the garage. He was both apprehensive and impatient to get inside. On one hand he didn’t have any news to share with Dig and Felicity, one the other he was impatient to get home as he had been for the past several days.

A few minutes later he was walked in the house, ready to take the stairs two at a time when Thea spotted him.

“What’s got you in a hurry? It wouldn’t be our latest houseguest, would it?” she asked coyly.

“Who apparently is your hoodlum boyfriend?” he retorted readily, not without irritation.

Thea’s expression turned mulish, but before she could reply a peal of laughter echoed from above. Looking up, Oliver spied Felicity on the balcony overlooking them. “Hoodlum?” she asked and then let out a snort.

His resolve to remain sober and irritated was tested at the sight of her amusement, but he refused to give in. He only spared her an exasperated glance, before he turned his gaze back to his sister. Thea though was smiling up at Felicity.

“What’s up, Lissie?” Thea called up, stunning Oliver with the ease of her manner. He hadn’t seen his sister teasing anyone after all that had happened. On second thought, Felicity with her endearing albeit awkward social skills could make anyone feel at ease.

As Oliver looked up at her she was rolling her eyes at Thea’s nickname. “Work and more work,” she replied, feigning exasperation, making his sister smile. He wondered momentarily at the story behind their familiarity, but decided not to ask just yet.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Don’t overwork her, bro,” Thea called out over her shoulder as she left the room. He smiled and shook his head, making his way upstairs.

“Anything?” Felicity asked, once he reached her and they both started walking to the study.

That reminder of his failure brought back the frustration from earlier. “No, you?”

“I don’t know, Oliver. I can’t find a connection. Whoever hired those people was very careful to cover his tracks.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” he let her enter the code and precede him to the study before he closed the door and leaned against it.

Felicity took her seat behind the massive desk he had brought in for her. The wall behind her was occupied by a large contemporary painting, depicting a city in bright yellows, reds and fuchsias. He had thought of her when he had seen the painting in the catalogue of the Queen assets several months ago and had it brought in when they set up the room as her study. The picture she now made against it was exactly right. She belonged among colors, and for some reason the sight of her like this calmed him as nothing had.

Her next words shattered the calm once again. “What are we going to do, Oliver?” she asked, her face betraying her confusion. “They know where I live, they probably know everything there is to know about me, but we know nothing about whoever’s behind this.”

“I know. We’ll think of something,” he said, trying to appear more optimistic than he felt for her sake.

“Where’s Dig?”

“He’s overseeing the security upgrade outside. He’ll be up when he’s done,” he replied, his mind still on what they were going to do. There was only one thing he could think of and she wasn’t going to like it. “Felicity…we’ll figure this out, but you might have to stay here for a while longer.”

“What’s a while? A while as in a couple of weeks, a while as in ‘pack-all-your-clothes’ or a while as in ‘you’re-not-seeing-your-apartment-again’?”

She sounded a little panicked, but he had to drive the point home now that he opened the subject. “We have consider everything. We don’t know how long we’ll take to find out who’s behind this –and we will find out, I promise you- but it may be longer than we thought. You can’t go back to your house, Felicity. Not until we get them.”

As her shoulders slumped in defeat, she smiled at him, showing she didn’t blame him for the situation. “I know,” she sighed. “What will we tell people? You need a resident IT genius indefinitely?”

“Make a list of the things you need from your house and I’ll make sure Dig brings them over. Don’t worry about people talking. If they talk, you’re my friend and you’re staying until your house is renovated.”

“Cliché much?” she asked, raising an eyebrow behind her glasses.

“Yeah, I’m aware, but that’s what we’re going with.” He replied, and stepped away from the door. “Have you had dinner, yet?”

“No, I waited for you two.”

“Let’s go find Digg,” he said and opened the door for her. They had to make it safe for Felicity to go back to her normal life. The thought made him frown, as he walked downstairs beside her.

* * *

 

Hours later and deep into the night, Oliver found himself unable to sleep. Dinner had been all easy banter and friendly jokes among the three of them. Now though laying in his bed he couldn’t stop thinking of the problems they were facing.

Of his inability to protect Felicity.

He remembered the day he had decided that protecting her was a priority. What he didn’t know was how she had come to mean so much to him. She was a friend, he thought to himself, so of course he wanted her safe. In his mind flashed an image of her skin as he held her hand the other day and then today when he saw her against that painting.

Suddenly, images and memories of her cascaded in his mind. Moments spent with her twisting and forming fantasies. He gasped thinking of touching her skin again. No one would know.

His hand left the covers, straying south under his sweats.

No one would know that when his grip tightened he imagined her in his arms, just before they flew over an empty elevator shaft. No one saw him when he arched his back, thinking of her lips on him. No one would know that he groaned and hardened even more imagining what sounds she’d make when he touched her. No one heard his cry as he came, longer and harder than he ever could remember.

His grip loosened. His heart slowed. Sleep beckoned. He chased away thoughts of guilt and questions on his feelings, refusing to contemplate that, while no one else knew, _he_ did.

* * *

 

It was still dark outside when Oliver woke suddenly to the sound of his cell ringing. Instantly alert he grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. Blocked number – at least until Felicity got to trace it.

He slid his thumb over the screen and put the phone to his ear without greeting.

Silence greeted him back at first. “A debt is owed,” came a lightly accented feminine voice.

“Who is this?”

“A debt is owed, Mr. Queen. It’s now time. I will repay it in her stead.”

“Whose stead?”

“The one who hunts your friend has harmed many, Mr. Queen. I offer you help in payment of a debt owed to you. Your friend, she is not safe. Anywhere.”

Oliver kept silent, gripping the phone hard in his hand. He wasn’t playing the game, whoever she was. He wasn’t asking question or offering information. Felicity would trace the call and later he’d know who his target would be, but until then he wanted the woman to talk.

“She can be safe, Mr. Queen. She will be kept alive. It is the debt I owe you. For her.”

“Who?” he snapped, unable to silence that single question.

“Shado.”

 

 

 


	6. Fear and Safety

The days after the phone call, Oliver noticed people treating him differently. He noticed but didn't care.

Diggle was the first to comment on it the very next day. "Are you okay, man? You seem…out of it."

"I'm fine," he replied shortly and took off running. Literally. He took up running after that night. It was the only way people would leave him to his thoughts and he had to make some sense of what was happening.

He was running today again, sorting through thoughts and feelings. The sky was darkening and he'd ran his circuit around the grounds twice, so he decided that he'd stop when he reached the front door. He hadn't thought of a solution to his problems anyway.

The woman had told him she'd be in touch again, and he'd become jumpy. It was ridiculous, he knew, but right then for the first time after returning from the island he had no control over his feelings. Shado's name spoken through a phone line echoed in his head. An intangible connection to his life now and the one in the island, that nightmare. He had been willing to learn from what he'd been through. To change, but other than that he looked back at the island as a nightmare. A nightmare that when he woke up yes, his point of view had changed but thankfully it was over. Now that connection had snapped in place. The island and Starling city. He wasn't happy about it, but he had no idea why that was.

Then there was Felicity. She'd been a lot more anxious lately and he knew he was one of the reasons for that. He had kept his distance since that night in every sense. Touching her now seemed like a  _thing_. Something that if he did he'd feel it more than he should. So he didn't touch her and avoided talking to her more than he had to, claiming that he was looking into what their next step would be. But he wasn't.

He slowing down as he reached the fountain when his phone rang again. Panting unhooked it from his bicep and looked at the screen. Blocked number. His stomach dropped in dread, then again he didn't allow himself to think before he picked it up. It had to be done.

"Mr. Queen."

"Who are you?" Getting this woman's identity was the first priority.

"You can call me Kaiya," she replied, surprising him. He hadn't expected that easy an answer. "Have you decided Mr. Queen? Am I worthy of your trust?"

"No," he didn't hesitate replying.

"That is good. I will try to earn it regardless. We will have to meet in order for you to believe me, so let us not waste time. Kindly make your way to the basement below your club. One hour."

The line went dead. There was no decision to be made. The woman obviously knew more than he wanted her to but worrying about that would waste precious time. He had to understand what was going on, considering that Felicity's safety was at stake. He called Diggle as he walked inside the house and made his way downstairs.

"I need you armed and ready in twenty minutes. We're going to the foundry."

"What's going on?" Diggle asked, after Oliver's short command.

"We have a lead," Oliver replied shortly and wasn't surprised when Diggle hung up on him without another word. What did surprise him was Felicity waiting for him outside his room, with her tablet in hand. "Did you find anything?" he asked shortly, resolved to keep his distance.

"No, I wanted to talk to you about this whole I-am-an-island thing you're doing," she replied, grimacing the next second when realizing her pun. "You know what I mean…"

He felt like grimacing to at how close to home her words had been, but maintained his blank expression walking past her and entering his room. Without thought he took of his t-shirt and threw it in a laundry hamper. "I'm fine. We're going out with Dig. Something came up.

"Something about the attack?" she asked eagerly, having stayed where she stood just outside the open door.

"I don't know. We'll see." He purposefully kept his reply vague, he had to, considering he really had no idea how all this was connected.

"You want me to set up comms?" she asked, already tapping away at applications on her tablet.

"No."

"What? Why? Where are you going?"

"I want to check something at the club. No comms necessary." He was being short with her on purpose and that wasn't the first time he realized with a pang of guilt. Focusing made him do that…shutting off made him do that. The fact that he was now noticing and regretting his behavior to her was another subject to think on... "I have to get dressed," he stood just inside the room and looked at her, a voice inside repeating  _bastard_  over and over again.

"I'm not letting this go. It's about me, what you're going out for and I want to know," she stubbornly said.

Something inside him shifted. "You'll be the first person I tell, if I find out anything."

* * *

Forty five minutes later Oliver and Digg stood in front of Felicity's computers in Verdant's basement watching the security feeds from the club cameras. They'd checked the area around the club for anything out of the ordinary but nothing looked odd. Staying alert they walked down to the basement checking every corner before turning on the security feeds.

"Are you sure it's not a trap?" Diggle asked, having been filled in on the situation as they drove there.

"No." Oliver didn't have to elaborate further. They'd been through this and both had agreed there was no choice in the matter. They had to come. Diggle had been angry at first about Oliver hiding this from him as well as Felicity, but he thankfully hadn't pushed it. He had been appeased when Oliver had provided him with some information on who Shado was and how he knew her.

Now they were both standing impatiently in front of the screens. Trap or not, they had to understand what this was about.

A movement caught Oliver's eye on one of the feeds. He wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been paying attention, but the shadows near one of the hanging sheets of plastic were moving. It was gone the next second, but he was sure he saw it. Then slight change in the shadows in another feed.

She was good.

He tried to look carefully at anything else that might signify she brought friends, but there's nothing. Diggle tensed up beside him, noticing that something was going on too. The next second a female figure outlined in shadows appeared just beyond the basement door. Both men straightened up and silently made their way to the door.

Diggle, gun in hand, looked to Oliver for confirmation before he typed the code. There was the buzz that signaled the release of the locks and Oliver pushed outwards.

He had to lower his eyes so he could properly look at her. The woman, Kaiya, was shorter than he had thought. Her dark, almond-shaped eyes unreadable, the only thing not innocent in her otherwise girly looking face. Her hair fell on either side of her face like a shiny black curtain coming down to her chin.

"Gentlemen," she said, taking in both of them and not batting an eyelash at the gun Dig had trained on her. "May I come in?"

Oliver ground his teeth at allowing anyone down here other than Felicity and Diggle and the latter didn't seem happier about it as they parted so that she could walk down the stairs ahead of them. They followed her down, Diggle not lowering his weapon.

"Were you surprised that I knew of the existence of this place?"

Neither man replied, instead tracking her with their eyes, as she looked around indifferently and then came to stand in the open area behind Felicity's desk.

"I have kept track with news on you since your return, Mr. Queen. I am very impressed by your work. She would have been proud, I'm sure. I would offer my… discretion about your secret as proof that you can trust me, but I see that you will not."

Oliver closed his eyes at the reminder of the woman they seemed to have in common. Shado. He had cared for her and then…she had died. "How did you know her?"

"She was my sister. Not by blood," she clarified when he tensed. "I am grateful for what you did for her. I only learnt afterwards of what happened on Lian Yu. So I am here to repay a debt, Mr. Queen. If I am to do that you will have to trust me."

Her hands came up to the knot that tied her black wrap-around top in place. Oliver tensed, and Diggle steadied his gun, but kept watching as she took off the long-sleeved shirt, revealing a black camisole underneath. Slowly Kaiya turned around and Oliver tensed even more, but now in surprise. A familiar red dragon tattoo spanned her left shoulder blade.

He didn't say anything as Kaiya turned back around and put the black shirt back on. "Is that enough proof that I can be trusted, Mr. Queen?"

While he now knew that the connection between her and Shado was probably real, he wasn't anywhere near ready to trust this woman. "No, but it helps," he said, seeing Diggle lowering his gun from the corner of his eye. "Why is …my friend in danger?" he hesitated saying Felicity's name, his innate suspicion difficult to quell.

As if understanding Kaiya used the name as if to prove a point. "Ms. Smoak has become a target."

"Whose target?"

"The night of what you call the Undertaking, Ms. Smoak was brought in for questioning by the police, on suspicion of assisting the so-called Hood. You. As you may have guessed that fact did not stay a secret for long. Many…organizations have informers in the police force. Organizations such as the Triad for instance."

At that Oliver felt his muscles locking in place, ready for a fight. Since she knew his identity why did she doubt his ability to keep Felicity safe? He opened his mouth to say so but Kaiya, continued talking.

"That is not your only problem, Mr. Queen. The Triad wants revenge. Malcolm Merlyn killed one of their own. A very useful businessman involved in the Undertaking. They lost a lot more due to the disaster. So you see, they wanted to retaliate. So they approached someone else for information and in return they offered her intelligence about the whereabouts of her father."

"Helena?" Oliver's mind was reeling. His ex-girlfriend had targeted Felicity before, a memory that even now angered him. He couldn't drown the thoughts in his head that maybe Helena had seen something in his feelings for Felicity even he had been blind to.

"Yes, Mr. Queen. Had she betrayed your identity to the Triad I am sure you would have known by now, but it seems to me only a matter of time. What she has betrayed is Ms. Smoak's involvement with the Hood and her knowledge of the people involved in the Undertaking besides Malcolm Merlyn. So you see, she is not safe."

"My mother-"

"Your mother is not to be harmed. The Triad was aware of her objections to the Undertaking."

Oliver let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and turned his mind to Felicity. If Kaiya was telling the truth he had to deal with both Helena and the Triad. "I've dealt with the Triad before. I can protect Felicity," even as he said this, doubts crept in his mind. In order to keep Felicity safe from the Triad, her life would have to change. Security measures against a death order like that would have to be taken. Even then nothing could be considered foolproof.

"There is a price on her head, Mr. Queen. The Triad is treading carefully on this one, because of the Hood. There won't be out and out attempts now that the first one has been thwarted. They will see her dead, one way or another. She is important to you," Kaiya stated, but Oliver took it as a question.

A deep ache formed in his chest and he rubbed at the place over his heart. He couldn't manage the thought of anything happening to Felicity. Instead he thought of how he had avoided touching her these last few days and cursed at himself. Now he wanted to hold her close, keep her safe.

With a start he recognized the feeling in his chest. It was different but the same. Now he was afraid  _for_  her, while he was used to feeling a different kind of fear about her. Those moments when her words betrayed her attraction to him he always moved past it, not letting what she said linger in his head. If he let himself think that they meant something, he'd have to question his own feelings about her, but he hadn't wanted to, hadn't been ready to. Was she important to him…

Oliver finally nodded, grinding his teeth. Important didn't cover it.

"I owe you a debt for saving the life of one who was important to me. This is how I will repay it. I will keep Ms. Smoak safe."

"How?" Oliver couldn't believe that he was even considering it. He looked at Diggle, silently asking for any suggestions, but his friend's eyes held the same desperation he was feeling himself.

"I will make Ms. Smoak disappear."

"I can do that. She can erase her tracks herself."

"Yes, you have resources, Mr. Queen. And Ms. Smoak has skills. But you know as well as anyone that what the Yakuza can do is so much more."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very small cliffie, but don't worry. So, I have to clarify some things:
> 
> A) Shado is indeed dead, and I plotted a small back story so that this could make sense in which Oliver, Slade and Shado weren't alone on the island for long.
> 
> The Bratva and Yakuza (apanese equivalent of the Bratva) have been hired to continue Fyers mission and go to the island (He has to get the Bratva and other tattoos somehow, right?) According to DC Shado's tattoo is the Yakuza one (as the star one is for Bratva members) so Shado has a way out of the island but during the conflict she is killed. I can go on and tell you that Slade becomes Deathstroke and that his actions are to blame that Shado died, but I will end my rambling here because the story I wove in my head is irrelevant to this fic.
> 
> B)As Kaiya said, Helena has not betrayed Oliver's secret identity to the Triad but Oliver can't be sure right now. I know that Helena didn't betray Oliver to Det. Lance, but IMO she's a single minded person, so she could possibly do it at some point.
> 
> C) Moira will be safe from the Triad as I chose to focus on Olicity in this one. Hope the reason she's safe isn't too flimsy.
> 
> So...if you liked, or even if you didn't please let me know. Feedback is love :D


	7. A fight and a promise

_"I owe you a debt for saving the life of one who was important to me. This is how I will repay it. I will keep Ms. Smoak safe."_

_"How?" Oliver couldn't believe that he was even considering it. He looked at Diggle, silently asking for any suggestions, but his friend's eyes held the same desperation he was feeling himself._

_"I will make Ms. Smoak disappear."_

_"I can do that. She can erase her tracks herself."_

_"Yes, you have resources, Mr. Queen. And Ms. Smoak has skills. But you know as well as anyone that what the Yakuza can do is so much more."_

"No!" both he and Diggle shouted. Oliver knew his friend reaction was more a surprise at the revelation of the 'organization' Kaiya belonged to. His reaction on the other hand was instinctive. When the Yakuza made someone disappear they did not reappear, ever. While he knew that was not what Kaiya meant, the suggestion provoked an instant reaction in him, he hadn't been able to drown.

"Mr. Queen," Kaiya's eyes softened. "I am not speaking for the Yakuza today. I only intend to use the connections and skills I have to protect your friend. I will not expose her to my organization. I swear to you." Kaiya approached him. She was looking steadily at him, her expression showing gratitude and sadness. "You saved Shado's life. That is a debt I do not take lightly."

"I couldn't save her in the end," Oliver whispered, looking away.

"From what my…colleagues told me, you tried to get her off the island. Killed many so that she could do so. You sacrificed your chance to escape so that she could. It was another's actions that killed her. Yet even after everything you had done, you also avenged her death."

"I cared for her," Oliver told Kaiya, looking at her once more. Her eyes reddened, but no tears fell.

"I did too. That is why I am offering my help. I swear to you. I will protect your friend with my life. You have to trust me with her. "

"Oliver-" Diggle said, putting his hand on Oliver's shoulder.

"I have to think," Oliver said and turned away from his friend. "I have to know that she'll be safe."

"Oliver!" Diggle insisted.

He couldn't think. Couldn't take a decision this quickly. It was Felicity's life, she had to know everything and make a choice herself. He shouldn't have to decide for her. Even so, he knew the odds were stacked against them. They could take a chance and fight it out themselves, but it was impossible to be sure that she'd be safe forever. The thought of letting her go…He had never imagined something like this would happen and now… It was unthinkable that she would be taken away from him.

Kaiya's hand on his arm stopped him, and he realized that he had started pacing. And that he obviously now trusted her enough not to attack when she touched him. "There can only be minimal contact. If she is as good as you say with computers."

"Are you kidding me? You're considering this?" Diggle asked angrily from across the room. He must have sheathed his gun some time ago and was now standing with his arms crossed, legs braced apart.

"It doesn't matter if I consider this. It's Felicity's decision," Oliver tried to appease his friend, but knew that he was stalling. That and hiding for now from the fact that he had to make a decision himself.

"That's bullshit and you know it! In the end she will do what you tell her!" Diggle protested angrily, calling Oliver's bluff.

Kaiya on the other hand looked unwilling to participate in that conversation." I will be back here tomorrow night, either to collect her or…"

"If- I said if, she decides to go with you, you will tell me all I want to know." Oliver stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest stubbornly. He wasn't backing down on this one. If Felicity was to be taken he had to know she'd be safe, her location at all times and talk to her often.

"That I cannot promise, Mr. Queen. If she is to stay off the grid, you will have to be kept in the dark in case-"

"That won't happen. Even if I'm willing to hand her to you blindly -which I'm not- I want proof that she's safe and happy for however long you're with her."

"We'll talk tomorrow, Mr. Queen. I will think on the matter, and maybe Ms. Smoak can, too," Kaiya replied calmly before nodding politely and the ascending the stairs to the club without making a noise.

Once the door closed, Oliver braced himself for a fight and turned to Diggle. His friend's eyes were filled with anger. "Are you serious? You'll hand over Felicity to a member of the Yakuza? She's not a nameless liability, Oliver, it's Felicity we're talking about!"

"I haven't decided yet. I told you it's not my decision to make. "

"Bullshit!" his friend pointed at him, "I'm calling your bullshit again. You know I'm right. Why are we not fighting this? Last time I checked I'm in charge of your security at home and I say we can protect her there. She may have to stay inside until we finish of with the Triad but she'll be here, with us!"

The thought was so tempting to Oliver. Keeping Felicity near, with all he'd just realized he was feeling, but his mind was punching a lot of holes in that plan. "Dig, the last time we kept someone at home to protect them, the moment we turned our backs a hitman walked in through the front door."

"We'll be more careful, I'll add men, install new systems-"

"You just upgraded them."

"Oliver, please! Think for a second. We can't let Felicity go away, not knowing where she is. What if this is some sort of trap set up by the Yakuza and the Triad?"

"They wouldn't have pointed at themselves as the people behind it. They would have gone for Helena and left it at that," Oliver countered. Hearing Diggle spell out his own worries was disconcerting, but also solidified the reasons for his decision.

"Yeah, if we're to believe this Kaiya girl, your crazy ex has a thing out for Felicity. It's not that hard to believe actually…Still, Oliver think about it, we can keep her safe and here where we know she's okay."

At that moment something in Oliver reared its head, and he looked at Diggle sharply. "Why do you care if she's here and not there? I'll make sure she's safe either way."

Oliver regretted his words instantly when he saw Dig's eyes widening, his hands falling to his sides. "Shit! Are you kidding me?" his friend said passing both hands over his close-cropped hair. "I knew it! Son of a- You're not messing this up, Oliver!" he said, with a sweeping gesture that encompassed the whole basement. "Whatever it is you've got in that head of yours, this is Felicity. She's not some random girl. She's one of us!"

Oliver's anger at Diggle word swelled. If he was looking for sex he sure as hell could find it in someone less complicated than Felicity, but he wasn't. Did Diggle think that's the only thing Oliver would look at her for? Without realizing he found himself walking up to his friend. "You think I don't know that?" he bit out.

Diggle quiet didn't take away from the man's anger. "I think Laurel has pushed you to a tailspin so bad you've got it all backwards. You broke up with the woman you've loved for years a couple of days ago and now you want to rebound with Felicity?"

Oliver's fist clenched at his side. He felt his muscles locking, ready to spring but caught himself before he did. From his point of view, Diggle wasn't wrong. He had no idea what was going on in Oliver's mind, and Oliver couldn't blame him. He was just starting to make sense of what he wanted and what he felt, plus he was pushed to it by urgent circumstances. His aggression, Oliver realized, partly came from his inability to answer Diggle's questions. He couldn't explain how he felt if he didn't know yet. Either way, he stood his ground and looked his friend in the eyes. "I am not rebounding with anyone. Anything I feel about Felicity is none of your damn business," he bit out each word precisely.

Diggle's eyebrows lowered. "Feel?"

"We're done talking about this," Oliver said with one last hard look and walked around his friend to ascend the steps. "Let's go, we need to tell her." He didn't wait for Dig, but kept walking his mind now completely taken over with how he'd tell Felicity about Kaiya.

* * *

This could not be happening. Felicity opened and closed her mouth a few times but no sound came out of it. She was sitting behind her monitors, with Oliver standing in front of her, the desk between them. While he had explained his meeting with that Kaiya person, Diggle had kept silent standing near the door. The glances she had stolen at his direction, showed the man disapproving of the scheme Oliver was explaining.

She couldn't help but feel otherwise at first. Now the seeds of doubt Oliver had planted in her mind were taking root. Was she really targeted by the Triad? Did she really have to leave her life, her job, her friends?

"Oliver…" she whispered, not having a follow up to offer other than that. She had no words.

To be fair, he didn't look happy with the arrangement. Just…resigned? "I know, it's too much to stomach but, honestly I think it's our best bet."

He had already explained to her why he put his trust on Kaiya. Even had explained about Shado. She hadn't expected that. Even so, she felt… "Are you kicking me out?"

"Felicity. No! We have to get you someplace safe. Someplace no one can find you." He looked frustrated and she hoped it was with the situation, and not her.

"I get it. Just- I'll come back right?"

His expression softened to one she wasn't used to seeing, as he walked around the desk and came to kneel beside her. "Soon. I'll make sure of that. I promise." His eyes were steady on hers and something in her stomach fluttered. This was more than a quick promise. He meant it.

"Yeah?" she heard her voice whisper. She felt so apprehensive about this, so scared. She needed his reassurance, so she kept her eyes on his, even as she felt his hand covering her own on her lap.

"Yes. I'll make it safe for you," he said, his eyes holding such warmth it took her breath away. She was almost surprised when his gaze dropped to their hands, and looking down to see what had him so focused, she saw and then felt his thumb moving over her knuckles.

Felicity shivered at both the sight and the feeling of just that small touch. It was always like this when he touched her, but now seeing his gaze fixed on her hands it became…more. Wave by wave the fear was replaced with fire, as she felt herself focused completely on him. As if in slow motion she watched him leaned down while turning her hand in his, and she was almost sure he was going to kiss her. She hoped and wished he would, watching fixedly his lips closing in on the center of her palm.

Diggle chose that exact moment to shift on his feet and clear his throat. She was sure it was done on purpose when she thought about it later, but right then the spell was broken. Guiltily she snatched her hand back and looked back into Oliver who was looking at their friend with a weird expression on his face.

"Okay," she said in a low voice, both to agree on that stupid plan and to center herself against what had just happened.

"Find some way so we can talk safely. Every day." Oliver hadn't let go of her hand, and squeezed it as if to emphasize the importance of what he was asking. He was looking at her steadily again, and while the warmth hadn't left his eyes, his expression meant business.

"I'll get you a burner phone and find some way to get one too, from wherever I'll be. Don't know if I'll get internet access, so it's the safest bet."

"If I don't hear from you every day, I'm tracking it," Oliver said squeezing her hand with a hint of desperation.

Felicity's stomach flipped once more, and she found herself looking deeply into his eyes again, feeling the need to reassure him. She squeezed his hand back and nodded, afraid that if she spoke she'd ask him to stay again. Now that she knew he didn't want her to leave, her insecurities had vanished, but the fear lingered. She was dizzy with what had happened in the last half-hour and needed time to process, but instinctively she knew she didn't want to leave him now more than ever. But she had to.

"When do I have to go?" she asked numbly.

"Tomorrow night," oddly, Oliver's voice came out as flat as hers had.


	8. Departure

It was late the next night when Oliver, Diggle and Felicity made their way to a deserted farm out of the city. The meeting place had been set by Kaiya and Oliver could angrily commend her choice from a tactician's point of view. The corn fields surrounding the main building provided cover for miles.

Both men had left Felicity alone to pack and transfer some of her clothes and things from the boxes they had brought from her apartment to a large duffle bag. Diggle had made his disapproval known to Oliver by silently standing in corners either in the company office or at home, which had made Oliver feel more on edge than he already was.

They had to let her go though.

Kaiya had called Oliver earlier that evening providing the time and place for the meeting while they also had cleared up certain details concerning logistics. Oliver smiled humorlessly as he amended that thought. It was more like him angrily demanding that Felicity would keep in touch and while Kaiya listened silently, giving no clue whether she agreed or not. It didn't matter anyway, because Felicity had already made sure she'd have all she needed for them to communicate securely.

Their ride there had been quiet and the silence continued as they now stepped through the old wooden door. Diggle led the way, Felicity right behind him as Oliver flanked them.

All at once, the shadows to their right coalesced to the solid figure of Kaiya. Oliver saw Felicity tensing in front of him. It made him walk around and in front of her, to stand beside Diggle and block her from Kaiya's view.

It was stupid since Felicity would be going with her in a few minutes, but he had to do it. Protect her with his body one last time before she left.

"Good evening, Mr. Queen, Mr. Diggle, Ms. Smoak." Kaiya nodded to each of them in turn politely.

"Hi," came Felicity's quiet greeting from behind him. He could hear the apprehension and fear in that one word.

"I am ready when you are," Kaiya stated simply.

Oliver turned to Felicity to see Diggle holding her shoulders urgently. "You can still back out if you want. If you don't want to go just say the word, and we'll find another way," Digg told her, looking down at her fearful face.

Felicity swallowed thickly and then after glancing over her shoulder at Oliver shook her head soberly. "No, I'm…good. I can do it. I have to."

Digg squeezed her shoulders, sighing with resignation, before he caught her in a quick hug. "We'll do everything we can. We'll have you back in no time," he said over her shoulder, looking at Oliver who could do nothing but nod back.

Then it was his turn. He had dreaded this minute since he first heard the plan, knowing it would come to this. He'd have to let her go someplace where he couldn't keep an eye on her, keep her safe. But he had to. They stood staring at each other, his peripheral vision catching Digg stepping away from where they stood, providing what privacy he could.

"You'll text me when you get…there?" he hesitated, hating that he didn't know her destination.

"Yeah," she whispered, her voice breaking over the word probably in a mix of fear and sadness. He hated that she felt that.

"Remember the promise?" He stepped forward to emphasize his intent. That and because he couldn't not be close to her at least now that she was still here.

Tears swam in her eyes. He wouldn't – couldn't- look away. They were close now, so close she had to lean her head back to look at him. "You'll make it safe for me."

"I will," Oliver whispered back, a knot in his throat. Before he could check his movements, his arms were around her holding her close. Breathing her in, he whispered so that only she could hear, "For you."

A shudder went through her at the words, and the helplessness he felt intensified. He didn't want to let her go. He had just started to understand what she meant to him, only for her to be taken away. It wasn't permanent, he tried to remind himself, but the feeling of loss persisted. The realization that he wanted to do so much with her was so recent that he felt cheated.

God, this was the first time he held her without it being out of necessity during a mission. He wanted to hug her again and again. To feel her body against his as he held her, without this awful sense of impending separation hanging over their heads.

Before he was ready to let go, she was pulling away. Refusing to release her he tightened his arms around her and raised his head only enough to see her face. A tear made its way down her cheek. He didn't want to let her go, but he hated that single tear. He leaned his face down and nuzzled his cheek against hers, letting her sadness seep in his skin.

When Oliver raised his head again, Felicity's expression was even more heartbroken than before. He couldn't stop the compulsion when it hit him. Quickly, softly he lowered his lips to hers. A promise turned into a kiss. His lips telling her again he'd make it safe for her, as they slanted against hers. He let his mouth rest on hers just for a moment, knowing there was another promise he was making. This one was for them.

It only lasted a few seconds; he knew it the moment he pulled back. He could still fill the moisture from her tear drying on his cheek. Felicity's eyes were watery again though, as she looked back at him.

"At least I got to do that," she muttered so that only he could hear her, with a wry turn on her lips.

She shifted and pulled away from his arms, before he could correct her. Before he could stop her from conscribing their kiss as reassurance for their goodbye. His arms empty now, fell to his sides, as she moved away towards the corner where Kaiya stood. Maybe it was for the better he hadn't gotten a chance to explain.

She was leaving. Right now.

The reality struck him once more.

Felicity picked up the duffle Diggle had carried and slung it on her shoulder. She stopped just in front of Kaiya. "I'm ready."

Oliver felt Diggle coming to stand beside him, unable to tear his eyes away from the two women.

Kaiya turned to them. "We will be in touch," she said simply and before Oliver could go over the arrangement just to be sure, she walked by him and into the night, Felicity following in her footsteps.

His eyes followed her as she walked away, until at the last minute before the large wooden door could close behind her she looked back. He cursed that the moonlight shone at her back, hiding her face in shadows for that last tiny moment, because then she was gone.

It was several minutes before either he or Diggle moved. Oliver's eyes were stuck to the place where her face had been before the door hid her from his sight. His reason alone kept him where he stood, instead of running outside to see where they had gone. To track them down and get Felicity back.

A couple more minutes passed before he ordered his body to move. Slowly, silently he and Diggle made their way to the car, Oliver determinedly not looking around the corn fields. Their drive to the city was spent in silence as well, both men lost in thought.

It was Oliver who broke the silence when they reached the mansion, just before he got off the car.

"Be ready tomorrow. We're going after them."


	9. Distance and change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will be a slightly different chapter. I debated with myself on whether I should go on and do this format, but then the lovely quisinart4 reassured me that it was okay. Hence the short delay if anyone's wondering.
> 
> So you are prepared, please note that normal font denotes Oliver's texts and Italics are Felicity's. The [...] denotes that either Oliver or Felicity are silent or pausing.
> 
> Hope it makes sense and that you enjoy it. Here we go then :)

 

* * *

_How's the wrangling going?_

It took you two days to reply that you got there? What kind of number is this?

_Decided on an internet text service. At least I have online access. We arrived an hour ago. A lot of detours._

Not asking.

_Not telling even if you did._

Are you okay?

_Fine. K is nice. Strong-silent type, but I'm used to that._

I'm sorry about all of this.

_Stop it. Not your fault, you're doing everything you can._

I promised.

_You did. I'm holding you to that._

_Gotta go._

 

"Please tell me that's not Laurel! Talk about a train wreck waiting to happen!" Thea's voice snapped Oliver's head up from looking at the cell in his hand.

"What?"

"Yeah, act all oblivious. Who else could it be? That cheesy, sad smile on your face, the lovelorn expression. Please!"

"It's not Laurel."

"Right. Why is she texting you anyway? Please don't go down that road again, bro…" Thea added seriously this time.

He could understand where this was coming from, since she more or less knew his and Laurel's history, however that didn't mean that her nosiness didn't annoy him. It was a big brother thing. Especially considering the fact that she was wrong. "It's not Laurel, Speedy," he repeated, wanting to reassure her apprehension, even if it wasn't any of her business.

"Oookay, I'll play along. Then who is she?"

He wasn't feeling  _that_  generous. "None of your business."

"Fine. Okay, change of subject. Do you know where Felicity's been? I tried calling her but her cell is off."

Oliver couldn't help the glance he stole to the screen on his cell. "She'll be out of town for a while. There's a merger I needed her to oversee."

"Oh, okay. Have you spoken-" his sister's eyes dropped to the phone in his hand and her eyes widened. Oliver barely held back an exasperated groan. " _Ooh_! Yeah, okay. Merger. I think I like this merger," she grinned slyly, looking up at him. "I really like this merger. Tell the merger hi from me, will you?" she told him, backing away from him, the Cheshire cat grin never leaving her face. "If you get a chance to, you know between the little hearts and kissy emoticons."

Oliver takes care not to check the burner phone too much in his sister's presence after that.

* * *

**A month later…**

Good morning.

_Not buying that. I told you yesterday, I'm not telling you if I'm in a different time zone. How's the wrangling going?_

Not fast enough. Found out some hideout places and issued warnings but I have to get higher up the ladder.

_Any leads?_

[…]

_Forget I asked._

How are you and K getting along?

_If she wanted me gone, she would've done it a long time ago. She's kinda nice once you break through her shell._

Was that a dig at me?

_Lol. Dig. Get it?_

Yes…

_And you wonder where I get the similarities between K and you. Anyway, she's nice. Teaching me cool stuff._

What kind of cool stuff?

_Not saying._

Now I have to find something other than your name to let you know you're being exasperating.

_Ooh, big words. Nice._

Lissie…

[…]

Did it work?

_Like you wouldn't imagine._

[…]

_Delete the last text. Please. Okay, going now._

Oliver smiled down at the screen imagining her backtracking. It had been a month with her gone, and he'd gotten the hang of texting. A lot. They texted each other every day and as the time passed Oliver found it strangely easy to talk to her, even for the small amount of time they had to do so each day.

By silent agreement they had stuck to texts and didn't call each other, even though he was sure that Felicity would've found a way to do so online. But this way freed him to talk to her like nothing had before. They could be easy with each other like this, in a way that they hadn't been face-to-face.

Oliver's smile faded from his face at thought, when he felt a familiar pang in his chest. He wanted to see her again. Sometimes, he needed to. So much, it was all he could do not to text her in the middle of the night, or call out someone from the QC IT department to somehow trace the internet text service back to her.

She was becoming an obsession, one he didn't mind having.

Still it had been a month and he wasn't anywhere near to clearing out the Triad. His frustration some nights was too much to handle, but thankfully Dig - always-solid Dig - calmed him down with irrefutable logic. The Triad was a huge organization, so it was bound to take them some time, but they'd get there.

The problem was that not having Felicity around felt wrong. The club was now repaired and every time he descended the steps to the basement her absence hit him. Hard. The first place he looked was always at the empty computer desk, reaffirming his conviction on what he was doing. Reminding himself, even though he hardly needed to, that he was doing it for her.

* * *

**Three months later…**

Lissie?

_Stop calling me that._

Can't.

_Sigh. How are things?_

You typed sigh. Things are…as well as can be expected.

_I did. What's wrong?_

This isn't going as fast as I wanted it to.

_Last night a bust?_

You have no idea. I feel like…I'm failing you.

_Pay attention. Seriously, pay attention NOW: You have never failed me. You are NOT failing me._

I'm not keeping my promise.

_Why? Because you said it'd be soon? That was just a promise-afterthought, not the actual thing._

A promise-afterthought.

_Exactly. You are keeping your promise. You're making it safe._

For you.

_Yeah…_

_And I promise, I'm making it safe for you to have me around._

What? What are you talking about?

[…]

Lissie?

_Gotta go. Miss you._

* * *

**Midnight- six months later…**

Lissie?

_I'm here._

[…]

_Are you injured?_

No. I'm fine.

[…]

I miss you.

[…]  _I miss you, too._  


Oliver's felt a pang when he read her text, realizing he'd been holding his breath for her reply. His mind went back to the island, the darkest time of his life. This distance between him and Felicity had him thinking of his time there these past few months. At first he had scoffed at the thought, because really, this was in no way comparable to that hell.

Lately though, he'd come to see what it was that had brought these thoughts forward. At the island his survival instinct had kicked in, but his thoughts were always on the people he loved. The ones left back home. His need to get to them, a longing so fierce that he had latched onto a picture of Laurel, making it a symbol for his loved ones.

This time, he was the one left behind. Still, the longing had returned.

He counted Felicity among his loved ones. The realization had come earlier tonight, when her absence had hit him hard as soon as he had sat on her chair in the lair. Sure, Oliver thought of her every day since she'd been gone, but those he thought that had been centered on the practical aspects of how he'd get to the Triad for her, get her back and have her near enough to touch.

He hadn't defined the pang in his chest until now. The longing. For her.

Felicity had caught him by surprise. She had cracked his guard and then snuck in so quietly, that her place as a vital part of him felt so natural that he hadn't noticed it.

Until she had gone away.

And tonight he had wanted her to know.

* * *

**Ten months later…**

We caught a break.

_Break as in one step closer for me to come back or break as in I can come back now?_

The former

_Okay. That's good._

No, it's not. I don't think we're going to win this. Not entirely anyway. I think I eliminated the direct threat in the organization, but someone can always pick up where they left off.

_Your crazy ex?_

She might have a grudge, but there may be others.

_At this point I have one, too._

You need to come back.

_I can't. Not yet._

What? Is someone keeping you? Why haven't you told me?

_Relax. No one's keeping me. I've decided not to come back yet._

[…] Find a way to call me. I need to speak to you normally, not through here.

_You know I can't._

Damn it, Felicity. Find a way. Now.

_No. I need to stay here a little longer._

You need to come back.

_I need to do something before I come back._

What?

_I told you. I need to make it safe for you to have me around._

  
_I'll_  make it safe for you. That's my job.

_You don't have to do it alone._

I need you back.

_I can't._

Felicity did her best to ignore the alert on her screen after she replied. She got up from her chair and made her way to the window. It had been ten months and while Oliver's admission of needing her made her heart flutter in her chest, she couldn't go back home.

At first she had hated being away, she thought looking out of the window. Below her the city lights of Utsunomiya sparkled in the early evening. She had been surprised when Kaiya had led her here. The woman she now called a friend had snuck her across half the country that first day, only for them to board a plane to Japan the next.

Felicity had no idea who owned the house they were staying. What she did know was that she wasn't allowed to interact with anyone when coming in or leaving the place. At first, Kaiya's order had seemed a harsh one, but now she didn't mind. She didn't stay inside for long anyway.

Early each morning, she and Kaiya drove half an hour out of the city, where the grey of the city blocks was replaced by the lush green of the countryside. There they spent their days, with Kaiya slowly but surely teaching Felicity how to survive. Because she  _had_ to survive in a world of secrets, threats and criminals.

Her stubbornness was the only thing that kept her standing after long days of grueling training. Her will the only thing keeping her from collapsing and sometimes the only thing keeping her alive, because Kaiya was not a fan of gentleness, but one of tough love.

The first weeks had almost killed her. Literally, she thought with a smirk. She couldn't keep count anymore of the times when she'd been at death's door and then brought back by Kaiya. She had hated the woman at first. Felicity had thought that the pain would prove too much, that she hadn't been cut out for what the older woman wanted of her. But she surprised herself, and even Kaiya with how much she could take.

One thought kept her going all these months, during 8 hour training sessions, breaks and then more training. Just one thought. If Oliver could survive five years of hell, she could survive just one. Yeah, his experience of hell was even harsher than hers, granted, but she told herself she had taken the crash course. So she wouldn't be the weak link in their team anymore. So she could stand by his side.

She eschewed a bow and arrow. Those were his.

Her strength proved to be a bo staff and the mat. She became an expert in taking down her opponent by using agility, lower body strength and a mix of martial arts moves based on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Kaiya was impressed now, ten months later. Felicity could see it in the woman's eyes, since her win ratio in their little bouts had steadily risen these past few months. Five months ago the Kaiya had started bringing in other opponents for Felicity. Sword experts, martial artists, big men, agile men even boxers so that Felicity could learn; could get hit, go down and pick herself up again.

She had learnt. She surprised herself with how quickly she did. How her body responded almost mechanically now. How her mind analyzed every move. She wasn't ready yet though.

She struggled to convince her heart of that. That she shouldn't go back yet.

Because she was still Felicity Smoak, and no matter how she had changed, the handprint on her soul was still Oliver Queen's.

* * *


	10. Return and trouble

If you don't reply to this one, I'm tracking you down.

_You can try._

Damn it, Lissie! Where have you been?

_You needed a time out. And stop calling me that._

I changed my mind. I'll start tracking you down right now.

_Again, you can try._

Come back and I won't have to.

_Nice one. I'm not coming back yet. But. I can tell you it's gonna be soon._

How soon?

_A couple of months._

Tell me why. Right now.

_Stop ordering me around, caveman. You're not the boss of me!_

_[…] Oh, wait…_

Lissie… Can you please tell me why you can't come back yet?

_It's a surprise._

I don't like surprises.

_Yeah, you'll probably hate this one, too._

I already hate this whole thing.

_Is that your way of saying you miss me?_

Nice. And yes.

_That's not what you're supposed to reply._

Yes it is.

It had been two days since their last conversation and Oliver's mind was still in turmoil. He hadn't appreciated how stubborn Felicity had become until now. When she had first joined the team, she had been compliant, but somewhere along the way that had changed.

And right now it pissed him off.

The change in her had begun before she left, he acknowledged to himself. Or maybe it was that she now felt more comfortable talking to him. Either way, this time apart had changed her. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, he thought uncomfortably. It was kind of a turn on really, but he'd never tell her that. Well, he would if he got a chance to, he amended irritably, looking back down at his burner phone.

He might tell her. Or not. He didn't know.

Sighing in frustration, Oliver stood up from his chair at the office in QC and walked to the window to look down at the view of Starling city.

So much had happened since Felicity had left. He'd gone back to being the Hood and while his first priority had been to track down the Triad, his other one had become to purge the city of the crime that plagued it after the Undertaking.

Every time he donned the Hood his thoughts were of Tommy and how he wanted to become a man his friend would have been proud of and not the bitter, vengeful mess Tommy had known. Next to that conviction were thoughts of Felicity. How he wanted her to be proud of what he'd done when she returned.

So he'd tried. For ten months he'd taken the yearning born from the distance imposed on them and let it drive him, so that he could make the city a safe place. For her.

Now though that he'd done all he could, that he could see a light in the tunnel she refused to come back. Sure, he hadn't rid the city of all the threats against Felicity. Helena was still out there and the Triad was such a big organization that there would always be a chance that someone would threaten her again, but the risk now had become manageable.

And she refused to come back.

His fingers itched for his bow at the reminder.

Oliver wasn't fooled by her change of subject in today's texts. He was apprehensive about the surprise she'd mentioned, but he dismissed it as one of Felicity's little quirks. He usually liked it when  _she_  surprised him, no matter what he'd said to her.

But the only thing he could focus on right now, what that she'd be gone for another two months. Another two months of suffering her absence, because that's what he'd been doing, he admitted to himself. The fact that he had no idea what he'd do with these feelings bothered him though.

It was the first time he'd allowed himself to think about her return as a very real and near possibility.

When had Felicity got the power to tie him into knots?

* * *

**Eleven months since Felicity's departure…**

Are you coming back, yet?

_How many times do I have to say this? No._

And how many times do I have to say that I don't want surprises. I want you home.

_You're becoming very emotional in your old age_

My. Old. Age.

_Silver lining: If you're old then Diggle is ancient._

Careful, little girl.

_[…] So, back on track. I'll be back soon._

I'm tracking you.

_You've said so before it's got you nowhere. Can't you just be a bit patient?_

No. I'm actually tracking you. Started yesterday.

_Oliver, no._

I told you not to use names.

_You did when you were angry. I am too. Besides, you're risking this by tracking me._

I'm careful.

_I don't care. Stop it right now. I told you I'll be back when I'm ready._

That's not enough.

_Why? For God's sake why can't you just be patient?_

I'm not having this conversation like this.

_What conversation? Oliver, seriously. Stop._

No.

_If you don't stop tracking me I swear I'll disappear._

Try it. I'll still find you.

_No._

_You won't. Stop it or I'm shutting this thing off right now and never texting you again._

[…]

_Just give me one more month. Trust me. Thirty days._

Why not now? It's safe and we can deal with anything that might come up.

_Just trust me on this one._

[…] Thirty days. I'm counting.

* * *

**Eleven months and 29 days since Felicity left…**

Tomorrow?

_Tomorrow._

Where?

_I'll find you._

Oliver had tried his best not to look too eager every time his office door opened. He did the same in the club and then later in the foundry. As the day progressed his conversations with Digg became shorter, their sentences clipped.

Apparently, Digg had missed Felicity, too.

Oliver very much sympathized, but he couldn't help but feel a little smug about it as the day wore on, since Digg had ribbed him incessantly about his restlessness during Felicity's absence.

To the point, by the time the sun had gone down that day Oliver found himself unable to stand still. Felicity had said she'd find him, but what if something happened? He was used to being in control of situations, and while Felicity had thrown that out of the window in so many levels, this was a time where he felt even more uncomfortable.

It didn't help when Lance's call came that night and he and Digg had to leave the basement in order to stop an arms deal in the Glades.

By the time they returned to the lair it was well past midnight, both of them were exhausted physically and emotionally.

Oliver in particular felt drained. His worry was a very real twist in his chest, which admittedly had lessened during the fight with those thugs, but now returned with a vengeance as he made his typed the code to open the basement door.

He expected an empty lair. What greeted him was a sight that froze him in his tracks.

Roy was standing in perfect form. An arrow was nocked on the spare compound bow in his hand, pointing…at Felicity.

Oliver's breath stilled in his chest at the sight of her. In seconds, he took her in. Her face was fixed in an expression of resigned determination, her eyes fixed on Roy. Her hair was longer flowing over her shoulders and reaching below her chest. She was dressed in black and had fallen in a defensive stance? With a staff in her hands?

Before another thought crossed his mind, he was moving. And talking apparently, though he hadn't given his brain the order to do either. "Touch her and you're dead," he barked at Roy, keeping his eyes on Felicity, as she turned to meet his gaze for the first time the minute Roy lowered the bow.

She was here. She was back. She was right in front of him.

"Told you I'd find you," she said uncertainly, though a wide smile was slowly overtaking her face.

Without thought, with Oliver having no recollection of how it happened she was in his arms. He buried his face in her hair, holding her close. In that moment he doubted he'd be ever able to let her go.

"It's past midnight. You're late," he whispered in her hair, and felt a shudder wracking her body. Maybe a giggle? He didn't know, he realized, because he was quaking himself.

Slowly he once again became aware of Roy and Diggle's voices around them but this time he consciously dismissed them. There was only her in this moment and he wasn't letting go.

"Oliver?" she asked, her breath whispering against his neck.

He closed his eyes against the sound. "Say it again," he ordered hoarsely without raising his head.

She stilled in his arms and he swore that in that moment he could feel the tension between them, what he had previously remembered as a sweet warmth, now growing and becoming a crackling fire in their bodies. For a second he was afraid that it was all him, just his imagination and his deprivation of her weaving fantasies.

Then came her whisper. "Oliver."

He tightened his hold, breathing in her familiar scent, and then slowly pulled back to look at her face. Bringing his hands to her face he moved her tangled hair back to properly see her.

She was smiling, and for the first time in a year he could feel a true smile forming on his face.

"Are you going to stay glued over there, or am I allowed a hug as well?" Diggle's voice intruded in the moment. With his smile turning into a smirk, Oliver ordered his body to step back and watched his friend sweeping Felicity up in a bear hug.

"We missed you, girl," Digg said, when he finally put her down.

"I missed you guys, too" she replied, her eyes jumping between the two of them. Oliver would've liked to claim that she looked at him longer after she said it, but he dismissed the childish thought. "Though I can see you haven't informed everyone that I'd be coming back today," she added wryly looking over at Roy, who had stayed by the computer desk.

"Hey, it's not my fault no one-"

"Roy's sorry," Oliver interrupted his sister's boyfriend with a glare, before he turned his eyes back to a laughing Felicity.

"Sure he is," she sarcastically replied, before looking around at the basement, probably trying to detect the changes they had made in a year.

"We didn't touch the computers," he reassured her with a smile, which Felicity strangely didn't take as reassurance.

"You mean you haven't updated the systems in a year?" she asked incredulously, making Oliver laugh out loud at how she rushed to her chair and turned to her computers.

"Don't worry, Felicity. I kept the system updated. It's ready for you," Diggle replied with amusement coloring his voice.

"Thank God," she sighed and turned back to smile back at them. "So? Catch me up." She looked expectantly back at them.

Diggle looked at him and Oliver nodded his permission for his friend to start talking. He knew Digg wouldn't get into anything too serious, since all of them were tired and it was already late.

He tuned out of the conversation for a bit, content to look at her, trying to spot the changes the past year had wrought on her. At least the superficial ones. He knew there were deeper changes in her. Her expression, even now when she was relaxed, betrayed experience he didn't want her to have.

But he'd let it slide for now. All he wanted right now was to have her to himself. To let her sight patch up all the holes her absence had punched through him.

"Okay, enough catching up. We should get some rest," he interrupted their conversation lightly. "You can gossip tomorrow," he added with a smirk at Diggle.

Roy muttered a grateful agreement and picked up his backpack, heading for the stairs.

When Felicity waved a friendly goodnight at him, Oliver raised his eyebrows. "We're all headed home, Felicity," he said, giving her a meaningful look.

It took a moment to sink in, then finally she nodded wryly. "Yeah, my apartment is still off limits, right?"

"It's safe to go, but not tonight. We'll go there tomorrow," he conceded, after her questioning look. He absolutely refused to allow distance between them for now, even if that distance was a bike ride away.

To his surprise, Felicity didn't pose further arguments against going to his house. With him and Diggle shouldering her two strangely heavy bags, they left the basement so that Diggle could drive them all home.

* * *

It was later that night after she got situated in the guest room she had previously stayed in, when Felicity found herself unable to sleep.

The excitement from coming back home, being back in the lair had yet to leave her. Having been used to sleeping only after exhaustion made her pass out, she found herself now restless with energy. Trying to rein in her thoughts, she got up from the bed and situated herself in the window seat overlooking the grounds instead.

She knew that Oliver had seen the bo staff but had chosen not to question her just yet. She was grateful for that. Felicity didn't know if she'd be able to handle his interrogation, or if she was prepared from the possible fallout her revelation would cause.

Today had been enough. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster. The anticipation and apprehension she had felt before seeing him in the basement. The hope that the closeness they had developed through those texts while she'd been gone wasn't just in her imagination. Then the confirmation of those feelings when she saw him look at her. Her heart had pounded in her chest when he held her, a part of her long absent finally falling into place.

She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of muted footsteps in the hallway outside her door. Before she knew it, she was standing and watching alertly as the door quietly swung open to reveal Oliver's shadowed outline against the backdrop of light.

"You're awake," he whispered in the darkness of the room, and then surprised her by stepping in and closing the door behind him.

"Yeah," she unnecessarily replied.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not yet. The excitement of coming back and everything. You know," she flinched as she added the last part, cursing herself for reminding him that he had been lost once.

He didn't seem to mind. "I get it," he replied simply.

"You?" she couldn't help but ask. "Why are you awake?" she asked awkwardly, not wanting the hope of why he was here tinge her voice.

"Not exactly the same reason but close." He looked close to being awkward, too. Standing a few feet from her in soft-looking cotton pants and a t shirt. It matched her usual sleep attire, Felicity thought randomly. She couldn't see his eyes in the dark, but she thought he was looking at her, studying her. Or was it just wishful thinking? "I…I need to know you're here," he finally added, and her heart jumped in her chest.

His hesitation was what gave her the courage to say what she did next. "You can join me," she suggested, motioning to empty space beside her in the window seat. She saw his head turn away at that, and her heart plummeted.

"No," he said, making her heart sink but his follow up to that surprised her. "You need sleep. We both do. Come on." He walked up to her, leaving her stunned when he took her hand, tugging at it so she stood. His tone had been all business, belying what he was doing, as he led her to the bed and waited as she bemusedly got under the covers.

Seeing him stand expectantly by the bed as she got in, Felicity unconsciously shifted to make room, and was further surprised when without hesitation, he laid down on his side facing her.

They stayed like that, looking at each other in the silence. Used to the dark by now, they held each other's gaze for long minutes. The question were left to be answered tomorrow. Either was willing to break this quiet, warm bubble.

"I missed you," Felicity dared to whisper, dreading that the spell would be broken but unable to drown the words. She wasn't sure it'd be safe to say so in the light of day, didn't know where they stood. Here, in the darkness it felt safe to repeat the words she'd already texted.

For several heartbeats, Oliver made no visible reaction to her whispered confession. Then her whole body shifted as Oliver hand swiftly moved to her waist and tugged her against him. Her face was pressed against his collarbone, his chin resting on her hair, while the arm that had tugged her now encircling her waist. She swallowed thickly and pressed her palm to the loud drum of his heart as they settled against each other.

"I counted down every single day," came his quiet reply, breaking the intimate silence moments later.

"Oliver?" she breathed, suddenly uncertain of that meant. Needing reassurance that her wishful thinking had not conjured the feelings she heard in his voice.

His reply was a deep breath, his chest moving against her palm. Then the tightening of his arms, bringing her closer to him. "You need sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

Felicity wanted to protest that she wasn't sleepy yet. She moved her hand against his pecs and tried to raise her head to look at him and say so, but he didn't let her. The way his whole body flexed against hers when her body had shifted, the way his muscles rippled beneath her palm; that's what stopped her.

The quiet intimacy had quickly transformed into that sweet, unbearable tension she'd felt earlier in the foundry.

She heard his slow exhale and knew, just knew, he was reining in his control. The thought made her tremble. This was dangerous in a way both of them hadn't predicted. One wrong move and she'd be in so much trouble. She'd love the trouble sure, she wanted the trouble, but she wasn't certain that she and Oliver were in the same page as far as this particular kind of trouble was concerned.

Thankfully, his next words carried out in a rasping breath, reassured her. "Go to sleep, Felicity. Please."

She settled against him, trying to be as still as possible, chasing away wayward thoughts about their closeness and basking instead in the safety she felt in his arms.

Maybe, just maybe, Oliver loved the trouble, too.


	11. Anger and need

Oliver would've liked to say that the next morning he woke up first. He would've liked to have the time to bask in the sight of her in his arms, in the knowledge that she was back at last.

He didn't get to.

What he got to do instead was… somewhat torturous.

He opened his eyes slowly that morning his lips forming a smile, already anticipating that she'd be the first thing he saw. He thought she must have moved during the night because he couldn't feel her near and when he opened his eyes he confirmed that she wasn't.

Panicking, Oliver quickly sat up on the bed shooting his eyes around the room in search of her.

And there she was. Doing…yoga.

In the empty space between the bed and the small sitting area of the guest room, Felicity was doing a forearm stand. As Oliver watched, Felicity's spine curved gently and her knees bent, until her body was an arch, her feet in the air moving towards her head near the ground while she remained in perfect balance.

She stayed like that, frozen in that unbelievable pose. Oliver held his breath looking at her.

"You're awake," came Felicity's perfectly calm voice.

"Yeah," he rasped, his eyes trained on her bent figure.

"Do you mind that I'm doing this?"

"No, I-" He watched as she slowly straightened her legs in the air and then brought them to the ground under her. She curled her lower body to ball, stretching her arms in front of her for a few seconds, before sitting up to face him. "I didn't know you could do that."

"I couldn't."  _Before_. She left that word unsaid, but Oliver heard it quite clearly. He watched in silence as she got up and walked to sit at the foot of the bed.

In a second he became aware of the exact amount of space that was separating them. He could have the covers flung from his body in a moment. His hand would go just there, on the little nook between her neck and shoulder. His other hand would draw her waist close to him, so they could be flush against one another. In one moment he could have her warm body, every inch of her skin against his. Under his palms. All of it.

He tried to make the thoughts go away, but couldn't. It had been easier when she'd been away. He had indulged in his fantasies as often as he liked, knowing it was safe. But this obsession now…

It was consuming him.

He had trembled just having her in his arms last night. He had been unable to stay away, knowing that she was just a few doors down the hall. The need to be in her presence had been undeniable. The need to touch her now was even more so.

He knew he couldn't though. Not until they fell back into a rhythm, until their relationship back on track. He was willing to fight to keep the changes their time apart had brought. The familiarity, the ease, the intimacy of their communication wouldn't fade. He'd die before he let it.

In a year he'd come to realize that no one meant more to his sanity than Felicity Smoak. His sanity was  _hinged_  on her, because in her absence he had lost touch with it at times.

He wouldn't have been able to see that if she hadn't gone away, so maybe something good had come out of the past year.

And now she was back. Here. On the same bed.

His hands were itching to touch her. He barely kept them from reaching out to her. Maybe she'd bat his hands away, and pull back, appalled. She had changed…maybe she didn't see him as she used to. Maybe now, to her, he looked like a  _friend_ , he thought bitterly.

"Oliver?"

Her voice tipped the scales again. He looked at her hungrily, wanting so much but keeping himself from reaching out and taking it.

Her lips parted drawing his eyes to them. "Maybe…" she started, and he snapped his eyes to hers again.

For a moment his brain had shorted, thinking that she had called him baby, making his heart jump in his chest. But no. It was 'maybe'. An innocent word. Just a single word that had Oliver scrambling internally for some sense of control.

"Maybe we should we should get ready. Do you need to go to the office today?"

"No, it's Saturday," he reminded her, looking away with what he hoped was a light smile.

"Do you want to go to the club? I could use a little time there so you can catch me up with more than just gossip," she said wryly.

"Okay, I'll go get ready," he said, getting out of bed and at the same time wondering if he'd be able to do this again: Talk to her, be with her first thing in the morning. "Listen," he said, turning to her as he opened the door. "You can stay here if you want. I mean… for a few days, so you can get used to being back," he tried in a desperate attempt to keep her close to him for another night.

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully from her perch on the bed. "I'll see how I feel about going back to my apartment by the end of the day," she added cryptically.

* * *

When they got in the basement later that morning, they were surprised to find they wouldn't be alone. Roy was training with Diggle on the mats.

"Hey," Oliver called out to get their attention as he and Felicity approached the edges of the training area. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't think you'd get her all to yourself today, did you?" Diggle replied teasingly, making Oliver smile.

Felicity smiled happily beside him, before making her way to her chair. She sat down spinning around once, before she turned to them with an even wider smile on her face. The sight of her on that chair, one so familiar and missed made Oliver smile back at her happily.

She was back where she belonged.

In the basement, having their backs. While so much had changed in how he, Diggle and Roy operated in a year, her absence had always been felt. He couldn't wait to get back in the field, knowing that he'd have something to look forward to when he got back down here. Like yesterday…

At that thought, his head snapped to the floor where he had last seen the staff she'd held the day before. It wasn't there. Looking around, he found it now on a table next to his bow. The questions he had refrained from asking, now rushed to the forefront of his mind.

"Felicity," he interrupted her conversation with Diggle sharply. "What were you doing with a bo staff?"

He turned his eyes to her expecting her to squirm under his questioning gaze. As she'd have done before. Before this year from hell had taken her away from him. But no, she held his gaze steadily, as if she was challenging him to make a comment or the connection.

After long moments of silence she relented. "It's mine."

He continued glaring at her, her admission little relief to the thoughts in his head. He just knew he'd dislike her answers now that he started questioning her. He had hoped though that maybe his deductions had been wrong. All that was left was to see how wrong he was.

"I can see that," he bit out semi-patiently, "What I'm asking is what you think you were doing with it."

She motioned to Roy in irritation. "He was about to put an arrow through me when he found me here last night. What do you think I was doing with it?"

Oliver's thoughts drew to a halt. He found himself studying her yet again, this time trying to detach his emotions enough so he could really look at her. As if welcoming his inspection, she stood up and walked up to him.

Her steps were surer. Her weight balanced evenly at each step. At each  _soundless_  step. She had worn all black again today –sweatpants and a long-sleeved t shirt- reminding him of her clothes last night. Her black outfit yesterday, had been comprised by black leather pants and a tight black top, he remembered now. He swallowed thickly at the memory and ended his inspection by looking back at her face.

"What the hell would you have done if he'd let the arrow loose?" he bit out, refusing to accept the suspicions swirling in his mind.

"Do you want me to demonstrate?" she asked in a low, even voice.

Oliver's anger swirled at the thought that she was making allowances for him. Giving him time to accept the unbelievable reality staring him in the face. He still refused to do it. "No," he snapped, whether to her question or to what she was implying, he didn't know. "We should tell you what's been going on," he motioned to Digg and himself and opened his mouth to explain what he'd done with the Triad so far.

"No. What you  _should_  do is watch. The sooner you get this in your head the better," she said, refusing to look away from him, as she stepped away from him, picked up the bo staff and stood in the middle of the open area. "Roy, would you be so kind as to attack me?" she asked, finally taking her eyes off him and facing the younger man, twirling the staff in her hands and then ending the movement crouched in a defensive stance.

Her words had barely penetrated his mind and he was moving towards Roy on the mats, who had just taken a hesitant step. His chest was almost against Roy's as he stared the man down. "Take another step you won't have fingers to nock an arrow with."

"Oliver!" Felicity's voice rang with anger and he turned to her. " _You_  do it, then."

"No one's doing anything. Whatever you think you can do, you're done."

"What?" She matched his angry look with a glare of her own, fanning the flames of his confused thoughts.

He didn't expect it when she came at him. Instinct alone made him duck despite his astonishment, as he dodged punch after punch and dropped under the arches of the bo staff. It was over in seconds. Not because he had bested her but because she'd stopped.

He looked at her unable to mask his bewilderment.

"I'm nowhere _near_  done," she said, not even panting by the exertion.

His anger returned with a vengeance. "Is that the 'cool stuff' Kaiya taught you?" he asked accusingly.

"That was week number one," she snapped back, with the barest smirk on her lips. But he could see the uncertainty in her eyes.

He was feeling it too. He was at a loss, the control he had barely managed to get of his feelings for Felicity, slipping once more in the face of what had just happened.

He could still see her: His Felicity behind the blur of the twirling bo staff and the black clothes. Her quiet strength from before that had drawn him in, that backbone of steel hidden behind awkward babbling and self-consciousness. All that was still there. But he refused to think he had in some way helped in her losing her innocence. That light inside her that brightened his life, without which he'd been in the dark for a whole year.

He was furious at the thought that she had given that up. That she had changed herself with the ridiculous notion that only then she could fit in his life.

She  _belonged_  in his life. She belonged by his side just as she had been.

She had already been too good for him before…

Unwilling to accept the change she had demonstrated, not wanting to see anything more, craving to reassure himself that nothing had changed, Oliver stepped in front of her towering over her form, attempting to be as imposing as possible.

She didn't move. Not a single step back.

The Felicity he knew, would have dropped her eyes from his after a few minutes. She would have stepped back, uncomfortable by how he was invading her personal space. Not because she was scared of him, but because of this _thing_  between them. The thing that had always been there, unacknowledged by him until she'd left.

This Felicity, though, wasn't looking away. The air crackled once more between them. Oliver focused on her, suddenly flooded by a heady feeling of arousal, fueled even more by the anger he still felt simmering inside him.

"Diggle, take Roy and go," he ordered his friend.

"Oliver, don't do-" Digg protested reasonably from somewhere behind him, but before he could repeat himself, Felicity cut him off.

"I'll be fine, Digg. Go. We need to have this out."

Oliver didn't move his eyes from hers as he dimly registered Roy and Diggle's exit. Instead he chose to focus on her and his anger. She met him stare for stare as he tried to look deeper in her eyes, trying to find answers in the questions that burned inside him.

He couldn't.

"What did you do while you were away," he asked her flatly, using a tone he had used only when interrogating targets.

Anger flashed brightly in her eyes. "I learned how to survive," she bit out the words with precision and each of them felt like a spike tearing through him.

The pain made him raise his voice. " _I_  will keep you safe! You think I can't protect you?"

"You sent me  _away_! You said you'd make it safe and told me to go away. But it's still not completely safe, so there goes your promise. Now I don't  _need_  you to make it safe, Oliver!" she shouted angrily back.

His brain rang with only three words.  _I don't need you_.

His control snapped.

His hands moved, one to grasp her face the other to her waist pulling her against him until the distance between them was eliminated. He could feel her short, fast breaths against his lips.

" _That_  was my promise? All this time you thought-" he wanted to shake her angrily but stopped himself. "My promise," he bit out, "was that everything, every  _fucking_  thing I'd do, it would be  _for you_. Making this city safe, fighting the Triad. For you. I had to send you away because I need you safe and now you're back and you don't need _me_?"

Her eyes had widened as he spoke. "Oliver-"

Feeling her breath against his mouth was the last straw. Her lips were already parted for the next word when he slanted his mouth over hers. He poured everything in that kiss. His need, his frustration and anger at what she had done.

She only hesitated a second before kissing him back, the same frustration behind every stroke of her mouth. He felt it in the way she pushed her whole body against his. When she grabbed his head with both hands to deepen the kiss and her tongue slipped over his lips to meet his.

Oliver was panting now. He wanted her closer. He wanted to feel her everywhere, all around him but couldn't bear the idea of stopping the kiss. He tightened his fingers in her hair and wrapped his other arm around her waist pulling her closer.

Minutes later when he started feeling dizzy Oliver reluctantly slowed down. He panted against Felicity's mouth and opened his eyes without releasing his grip of her. She looked as dazed as he felt. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was slowly opening her eyes. Her lips were swollen from his kisses.

His kisses.

The thought was like a punch in the gut and before another thought entered his brain he was kissing her again. But her moan was what did it. The low, sexy hum from the back of her throat had him kissing her deeper again, while he moved his hand from her hair to her hips.

As if she read his mind she jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. He had only a brief second to wonder at how right this felt before his brain stopped working altogether. He had fantasized about this so many times and now the reality was short-circuiting his mind.

He didn't stop the kiss for a second as he kneeled on the mats keeping her body against his, aching at the way she was moving against him. He bunched up the hem of her black shirt in his hands raising it with jerky movements wanting to feel more of her.

Reluctantly pulling back, he kept one hand resting on her bare back while she raised her arms for him to pull the shirt off. Even for one moment the deprivation of her lips felt too much but as he leaned down again, she spoke.

"Oliver," she said between kisses. "You need to-"another kiss. "Stop."

He ignored the words because her body said otherwise. Her lips still moved against his, her arms were wrapped around him pulling him closer. "No, I don't."

Felicity's sucked on his tongue the next moment and he swore he could feel the blood rushing through his veins. Too soon she was pulling back from him again and he grunted in frustration, but turned his attention to her neck. He bit at her pulse point, sucking at it and then soothed it with his tongue dimly registering her words, focusing instead on her the husky quality of her voice.

"We won't solve anything like this," she moaned the last word, and he felt the vibrations against his lips. He already felt drunk on her. She gasped when he dragged his lips against her shoulder. "Why are you doing this…?"

The last question stilled his lips. She still didn't get it? He was hazy with desire and need and still she questioned his feelings.

Instinct took over completely.

Raising his head he kissed her deeply with bruising intensity. His brain had shut down, his own emotional filter non-existent but he knew she wanted words, so he started talking not registering anything but how she relaxed in his arms.

Letting her fall on the mats, he broke away and moved his lips to her collarbone. His hands rose from her waist to her black bra and he moved the cups down to let her breasts spill out.

He panted against one swell. "I spent a whole year wanting you and not having you," he rasped before sucking one nipple in his mouth, groaning at the taste of her skin, at the reality of finally having her. The other hand moved to her other breast and kneaded the swell.

He was burning up. His erection straining against his jeans.

Focusing on her breasts, he grazed one nipple with his teeth before abandoning it for the other one he had neglected. Her head was thrashing above him now, letting out small hungry sounds that had him aching. His fumbling hands fell to the waistband of her sweatpants and dragged them along with the panties off her legs.

Before she could protest, he had his t-shirt off and moved over her once more. Slowly he lowered his naked chest against hers, hissing at the contact. "I'm sorry," he muttered before another kiss, even as one hand moved between them higher and higher on her inner thigh. "I can't stop. I need…I dreamt about this for a whole year," he whispered apologetically against her lips, still in daze.

The moment his fingers touched her they both gasped. Oliver brought his cheek against hers, feeling her slick folds against his fingers. He almost burst out of his skin at the sensation of her hot, wet core against his hand. "Lissie," he groaned in her ear before sliding two fingers inside her. "You're so tight."

"Oliver!" her cry echoed in the room.

He couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth after that. He kept whispering in her ear in between kisses."You're so perfect. God, I want to kiss you down there. Suck you…" he rasped in her ear, before pulling up, unbuckling his belt and kicking his pants and boxers off.

Rising on his elbows to get rid of his clothes, he looked down at her. She was like a naked flame in his arms, he thought as he took a first good look. His eyes fell to the hand he was working between her legs. That sight, the feeling of her inner muscles squeezing around his fingers had him almost coming right then.

He closed his eyes against the perfection of her but still felt her. Oliver's heartbeat was a wild tattoo in his chest and sheer need took over once more. She was reaching for him even as he fell back down to hover over her. Her nails scored lines down his back and then dragged lower to grab his naked ass, pulling him closer.

He shut his eyes tightly again the moment his erection touched her naked stomach. The sensations were building now, every single move an added stimulation to his already overwhelmed mind.

A haze of need made had vision tunnelling until he could only see her, the way her heavy-lidded gaze held a hunger mirroring his own. Driven solely by instinct he quickly removed his fingers from inside her and brought them up, sucking them in his mouth. He watched her eyes flare with want, before closing his own at the taste.

It was a blur after that.

Her taste had driven him crazy enough that he suddenly found himself kissing her deeply already settling between her legs. Pulling back from the kiss he panted mindlessly looking deeply in her eyes. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll go slow next time. This time I need-"

"Shut up," she moaned and before he could react her legs were wrapped around his waist, making his hips move until his cock brushed against her folds and then slipped inside with one smooth thrust.

"Fuck!" he gasped in time with her loud moan.

They were still for a moment breathing hard against each other's lips, staring at each other in wonder. Oliver could swear even his heart had stopped in his chest.

It all became real.

He was inside her. Inside Felicity. He could feel her all around him, under him, but the perfection of the moment lay in the fact that it was  _her_. He was feeling her warmth, her heart, her light everywhere. Her presence surrounded him completely holding him close, taking him prisoner. Piecing his broken parts back together.

The moment of reflection shattered when she moved her hips involuntarily. She looked pleadingly up to him as if apologizing that she couldn't help the reaction, but he was already slanting his mouth over hers. The sensation of his erection sliding in her body drove him wild.

He gripped her hip tightly in one hand and rested the other on the side of her head, thrusting powerfully, whispering against her mouth unable to control the words. "Felicity…I can't stop," he breathed against her mouth, picking up his pace, knowing this would be over far too quickly. "Fuck! Please…" he begged her mindlessly, praying that he would last until she came at least once. He already felt his own orgasm building, starting low on his spine; Gaining momentum as he felt her fluttering inside in time with his thrusts.

It was over moments later when she grabbed his head and kissed him violently, biting his lower lip between her teeth as she came moaning against his mouth.

The bite did it even before he felt her letting go. He came with loud, soul-wrenching gasps, shutting his eyes as never-felt-before pleasure flooded his body leaving him weak.

In the long moments afterwards Oliver fell on her, trying to rest some of his weight on his trembling elbows and catch his breath.

He drifted in that feeling of wholeness. That sense of feeling a moment so absolutely. So completely.

Coming back to himself, he found that he hadn't moved. He nuzzled her face lazily kissing her cheeks and lips. Slowly he pulled back to look at her. Felicity's eyes were closed and the slightest smile had the corner of her lips turning upwards. She was running her hands through his hair, slowly trailing her fingers against his scalp.

Oliver nudged her nose with his and watched as she opened her eyes.

"You called me Lissie," she murmured.

"That's what you're taking away from this?" he asked with a gentle, teasing smile slowly pulling out of her despite his reluctance to do so. Running his hands up her sides he pulled her to him and rolled to the side keeping her close.

He held her gaze, so he saw the moment the haze of contentment was replaced by doubt. She bit her lip and looked away from him. "I don't really know what I should be taking away."

Before he could reassure her the sound of his ringtone echoed from where his pants had been discarded a few feet away. The spell was broken. He saw it when she jumped at the sound and quickly –too quickly- jumped up and started gathering her clothes as he moved to stop her.

"You should get that. Maybe it's Digg. Oh, God, it's him and he wants to know if he can come back with Roy! Where did you send them? They're probably upstairs waiting for us to…" she looked around frantically as she pulled her clothes back on and stepped away from him.

"Felicity-" he started but she was already walking away, telling him over the shoulder that she was going to the bathroom.

She must have been right about Digg for just as he was pulling his t-shirt on, already walking after her the door to the basement buzzed open and Digg's voice called down to him.

She wanted distance between them, Oliver thought worriedly.

That wasn't happening any time soon. Or ever.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Felicity's POV which will explain some of her feelings after and during this one.
> 
> I haven't written smut in a long time and really am kind of insecure about it so if you liked or didn't like it please drop me a line. I wholeheartedly welcome constructive criticism.


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